Tuesday, December 15, 2020

QUIET HERO: THE KEN PLOEN STORY -- A BOOK REVIEW

 

QUIET HERO: THE KEN PLOEN STORY 

A BOOK REVIEW

 

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.

© September 25, 2011

My first memory of Kenny Ploen was in the fall of 1947 when he was twelve, and he came over to the grounds of the Clinton County Courthouse to play football with us, without pads.  He lived in the neighborhood but always played in the schoolyard across the street from his home on the grounds of Hawthorne Elementary.   In a perfect spiral, he threw that football a good fifty yards.   

I had the pleasure of playing with him on the Clinton High School basketball team when he moved up to the varsity as a sophomore and joined the River Kings playing with us in substate.  He was awesome there as well. 

In his senior year, Clinton High finished third in the 1953 Iowa High School Basketball State Tournament, which as impressive as that was, he immediately put on his track shoes without a beat, and won the Indoor Iowa High School 120 yard high hurdles (St. Mary’s High School of Clinton won the Iowa State Basketball Championship in 1953).

It so happened, I was president of Hillcrest Dormitory at the University of Iowa when he was a Nile Kinnick Scholar-Athlete, Clinton’s first, as a freshman.  He, like Phil Leahy, who was Clinton’s second Niles Kinnick Scholar, was an “A” student.  At Iowa, I got to know him better as his brother, Del Ploen, who went to Iowa State University, was my best friend, and also an excellent athlete and student.   I got to know Kenny better at Iowa, finding him as modest and as competent as his older brother.  Incidentally, the same was true of Phil Leahy.  

Besides being an outstanding athlete, Kenny Ploen continued to be an honor student at Iowa, earning a degree in civil engineering.  He would go on to win the Big Ten Football Championship at Iowa, and the Rose Bowl Game in 1957, along with Most Valuable Player for that prestigious performance in that game.  By the coincidence of circumstances, at the time, I was on the Flag Ship of the Sixth Fleet (USS Salem CA-139) operating in the Mediterranean Sea during Kenny’s senior year and followed his exploits in the ship’s newspaper. 

Always modest, he had his brother present this book to me with the inscription “To Jim Fisher, Hope you enjoy the book, Ken Ploen, Old #11.”   

Two Canadian sportswriters, Roy Rosmus and Scott Taylor have put a beautiful book together of Kenny Ploen’s life story, along with photographs and tributes to teammates and coaches, as well as competitive players and coaches, and others who have had the pleasure of knowing our most celebrated sports figure from Clinton, except for Iowa’s Duke Slater, an African American, who came from Clinton and played in the 1920s. 

As successful as Kenny Ploen’s life was before he joined the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the Canadian Football League, it went into another gear once he joined that team.  For the next ten years, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers dominated Canadian football, largely because of Ploen’s leadership and play.  The team went to six Grey Cups (the equivalent of the NFL Super Bowl) and won four.  He was named the Most Outstanding CFL Player of the 1960s.

There are family pictures of his siblings and parents, and a picture of him with his high school River King teammates Dick St. Clair, Don Hart, and Phil Leahy.  There is also a picture of Nile Kinnick, whom he strikingly resembles, the great Iowa quarterback for whom the Iowa academic/athletic scholarship he won is named.

The book takes you through his perfect skill set for Iowa’s coach Forest Evashevski’s “Wing-T” offense, where he used the option play with devastating brilliance, the high lights of the 1957 Rose Bowl Game.  Kenny, an extremely shy person, had a characteristic courtship and marriage to University of Iowa’s MECCA Queen, Janet Newcomer, spurning the NFL draft for a much more lucrative long-term contract with the Canadian CFL’s Blue Bombers, where coach Bud Grant, an equally modest and unassuming guy, but also a dedicated hunter and fisherman like Kenny, was interested in installing the Wing-T offense in his new job.  And as they say, player and coach proved to be a match made in heaven. 

The book is resplendent with quotes:

“Kenny, you were the fiercest competitor I ever met in football.  I consider it an honor even to have played against you.” (Bernie Faloney, Hamilton Tiger-Cats quarterback)

“They called it the house that Jack Jacobs built, but Ken Ploen paid the mortgage.” (co-author Roy Rosmus)

“Ploen simply murdered you, methodically and slowly, with an ice pick.” (coach Neil Armstrong of Edmonton Eskimos)

The book is not a hagiography of a saintly character but of a humble and gifted young man who employed his skills with the precision that is endemic to his character.  The book is of a similar design. 

The most moving part traced the nature of Kenny’s greatness, of how similar he was to Nile Kinnick in so many ways, how it was always about the team and never about him, and how players responded to his leadership with gusto and timely execution.  

The book is a tribute and dwells little on his injuries that forced him to retire, or how some of his business adventures proved less than fulfilling.  A trained civil engineer, with a BSCE from Iowa, he maintained that engineering status with Martin Paper Products in his early years while playing in the CFL, and subsequently, as a color commentator of CFL football games in broadcasting, and then as an investor in Minute Muffler, never finding in business the consistency of football, which from my perspective, is not surprising given my several books on that subject.

Kenny Ploen now enjoys retirement with his wife, along with his grown children and eight grandchildren, fishing and hunting with his brother, Del, and spending the winters in his Florida home.  

Clintonians can be proud of their native son continuing his winning ways in the afternoon of his life.  He is a legend in his own time, and the most outstanding athlete-scholar Clinton, Iowa has ever produced, along with Duke Slater, the African American tackle in Clinton High School and the University of Iowa.  Like Kenny Ploen, Duke Slater was an excellent high school and university student, attained all-American recognition at the University of Iowa, then had a career with the Chicago Bears in the NFL, and finally as a Federal Judge in Chicago, Illinois.

  

THINGS ARE NOT OFTEN WHAT THEY SEEM

 

 THINGS ARE NOT OFTEN WHAT THEY SEEM

 

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.

© December 15, 2020

 

Last night I stayed up late to watch the NFL game between the Cleveland Browns and the Baltimore Ravens, the name of the Baltimore team a tribute to the late Baltimore poet, Edgar Allen Poe.

 

The Cleveland Browns had not been a relevant football team for twenty-five years or since 1995.  Hope reigns eternal for a city that has had several Great Depressions since The Great Depression of 1929, economically, culturally and historically.

 

I asked my wife, BB, if she had ever been to Cleveland.  She said, “No.” 

 

“Why?” she asked.

 

“Oh!” I said, “I suppose because I sat in my sofa chair for more than an hour after the game was over thinking about this metropolitan community, and the heartache it has often experienced with economic downturns, commercial enterprises abandoning the city for greener pastures, whole communities run down within much like ruins of an earlier prominence, putting one in mind of the remains of say, the Roman Empire but without the attractive skeletal remains of the likes of the Roman Coliseum.”

 

“But I don’t follow.”

 

“Honey,” I said, “I’m just thinking what has happened and what might have happened here with how this game turned out if it were not for the pandemic.

 

“Now, I’m really confused.”

 

“Several years ago, Venezuela lost the World Cup when one of its players inadvertently scored a goal for the other team, and they lost the World Cup.  The young man went back to his home in Caracas and was murdered for his miscue. 

 

“Last night the Cleveland Brown's kicker missed an extra point and a chip shot field goal.  Were he to have made them both, the return of Baltimore’s quarterback Lamar Jackson, who had left the game for leg cramps, might have proven academic.  As it turned out, Jackson's return was monumental as he drove his team down the field so that their premier kicker could win the game. 

 

“Events relating to this supreme quarterback, who performed like Superman, as did Cleveland Indians’ quarterback Baker Mayfield, the outcome would have saved Cleveland from its ghosts of the past.”

 

“So?  Remember, this was only a football game.”

 

“Yes, that is true.  And in a paradoxical sense, thanks ironically to the pandemic only 12,000 fans were dispersed across the gigantic stadium rather than 90,000 cramped together in confining and agitating space.  

 

"Were the arena filled to capacity, I suspect there would have been riots in the streets, burning cars, trashing buildings, contorted conflicts with police, and with each other.   That is how the hoi-polloi often behave.”

 

“Doesn’t that word mean the rich, pompous and pretentious?”

 

“No, it means the common people in mass behaving irresponsibly because of anger and angst.  

 

"Who you describe are commonly referred to as "the hifalutin," or the elitist.  They are equally incensed and disruptive when angry and many times more destructive but in more subtle and sustaining ways. 

 

“Why?  Because they have the power and influence to cover their tracks.  Ordinary souls such as people such as ourselves are in your face when angry or disappointed, whereas “the hifalutin” tend to be invisible masterminding their disruption behind the scenes.  My book with Eric Hoffer covers this fanaticism and duplicity.”

 

“The book that I am to edit.”

 

“Yes, when you get the time.”

 

“Yes, when I get the time.”

 

“Why do people behave as they do?”

 

“Why do people behave as they do?  Now that is the $64,000 question.  

 

“I remember when I was a boy in the 1940s, and would go to downtown Detroit, and Cadillac Square and shop with my Uncle Leonard, my idol, and a prominent professor at the University of Detroit and with my cousin, Robert.  Downtown Detroit was in pristine condition, as was Belle Isle nearby, where we would go on to dinner at my uncle’s yacht club, and see a film there. 

 

“But Detroit was already changing in the 1940s as African Americans from the Deep South were coming in droves to this metropolitan area to work in the automotive plants and other factories in support of the war effort during WWII.

 

“In the 1960s, wherever I might be traveling, be it across the United States, South America or Europe, I would drop by Detroit to visit my uncle and have dinner with him at the Detroit Yacht Club.  

 

Downtown Detroit had changed dramatically.  Now, tens of thousands from the Deep South were living in Detroit which dramatically changed the character, complexion, and culture of what I had remembered this city as being. 

 

“At precisely the same time, this was happening in Cleveland, which I have always thought of as a “Little Detroit.” 

 

“So, what is wrong with that?”

 

“Nothing, that is, on the surface.  But in the 1970s into the 1980s, I was now a private consultant and witnessed the cosmetic and structural change to both these cities, as American industry was no longer “king,” having had its prominent markets severely reduced in computers, kitchen appliances, light fixtures and automobiles and parts by Japan, Inc., Germany, Sweden, Finland, Korea and China. 

 

“This had created an economic hole in the heart of Detroit and Cleveland among other northern “Rust Belt” cities. 

 

“This ultimately translated into African American homes in Detroit and Cleveland, and other Northern Cities, being victims of downsizing to good paying industrial manufacturing jobs, and like Kafka's Joseph K in "The Trial,they had done nothing wrong.  

 

“Hope was replaced by despair with these communities taking on a blight that has translated into a collective edginess that finds them desperately looking for something upon which to build their pride, such as a football team such as the Cleveland Browns.”

 

“That was what you were thinking sitting there after the game?”

 

“Well, it was what I was thinking in part . . .”

 

“No, don’t go there.  You’ve already given me a headache.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“You’re forgiven.”

  

Wednesday, December 09, 2020

J. ROBERT OPPENHEIMER & PROMETHEUS UNBOUND

 

J. ROBERT OPPENHEIMER & PROMETHEUS UNBOUND 

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D. 

© December 9, 2020 

A READER WRITES: 

Jim

Thanks for your thoughtful presentations and exchanges. This most recent one touched on a personal tender spot. While I was in undergraduate school at Carnegie Mello University, and graduate school at the University of Pittsburgh, I was involved in nuclear power activities with Westinghouse Electric.

There, I was receiving The Economist, The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, and The Progressive where The Progressive's tease was on disclosing the "secrets" of the nuclear weapon designs. The whole picture was well subsumed by the phrase "Prometheus Unbound."

Norman

I RESPOND:

Norm, 

What a perceptive phrase, "Prometheus Unbound."

J. Robert Oppenheimer was, indeed, America's Prometheus. Unlike the Greek God, who was tied to a rock in the mountains by Zeus with buzzards eating his liver every day, which was regenerated every day him being immortal, the pain unending, Oppenheimer had a similar fate only he was mortal.

Triumph and tragedy were like polar coordinates to his existence.  Since a boy, he was brilliant with a facility for science, philosophy, religion, the arts, and languages. He was also charismatic with a giant mind but an equally sensitive heart. Add to this he had incredible management and organizational acumen, along with a talent for assessing competence with an eye for what worked and what did not.

Given all this, the tragedy is that he allowed events to control his destiny rather for him to take charge and be his own man.

He had Nobel Prize capability in physics but allowed those in government and his discipline to persuade him to head the massive Manhattan Project even picking out the cite where it might best be conducted. Los Alamos became a community of thousands of the best minds and technicians of the world in an isolated and secret place.

One wonders while he was successfully engaged in creating the world's first atomic bomb that he naively believed it was a weapon that would never be used, especially by the American nation.

As mentioned in "An Open Mind or A Closed Mind," Truman saw him as a "cry baby," radicals and fanatics across this nation saw him as "a spy" for the Soviet Union with the paranoid buzzards making his existent miserable until he finally died.

Brilliant as he was, and yes, trusting, too, he was a man of conscience, something I have been writing about of late, which tortured him when he realized what he had created.

Were I younger, I'd make a study of J. Robert Oppenheimer in terms of a citizen of humanity who happened to be an American.

Thank you for sharing,

Jim

Monday, December 07, 2020

AN OPEN MIND OR MORAL MIND?



AN OPEN MIND OR MORAL MIND? 


James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D. 

© December 7, 2020 



A moral dilemma occurred seventy-nine years ago today when the Empire of Japan made a surprise attack on Pearl Harbor in the Hawaiian Islands on December 7, 1941, killing 2,403 US military personnel while sinking most of the US Seventh Fleet. This resulted in the Congress of the United States declaring war on Japan and Germany with President Franklin Delano Roosevelt calling it "a day that will live in infamy."  This war would change American society and that of the world forever.


TED WRITES

One philosophical nugget of which I am fond is "No learning can take place in a certain mind." I like it because it reminds me to attempt to remain open minded and at least consider alternatives.

Unfortunately, it leaves me with the question can we ever properly allow ourselves a certain mind?

To that enquiry there is this - some years ago during a meeting at which we were to pick a controversial topic for a book discussion I suggested the death penalty. One of the others involved said he didn't want to do that.

When asked why, he said, at his age (roughly my age now) he had been through the topic many times and his mind was made up and he wasn't going to change it.

The man’s comment left me in another quandary, "At what point, if ever, does it become proper to adopt his attitude?" Can we ever examine a topic enough to say we have exhausted all chance for new nuance of meaning?

If we do find new considerations because of our stalwart open mindedness are they worth the thought, or are they just versions of the old philosophical idea of considering how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, a bit of mental game playing we would be better off without.

Shouldn't we at some point get to make up our mind with certainty on a subject, or any number of them, without the dreaded charge of being closed minded being applied? Shouldn't being open to new thought on other topics suffice to allow us to continue with honor as open-minded warriors for good thinking?

Take care

Ted

I RESPOND

Ted,

Some focus on an open mind; others on a moral mind; still others on both minds. Plato is best known for his moral mind whereas Aristotle for his open mind.

You have a history of finding purchase in both minds as you have headed for many years THE GREAT BOOKS CLUB of The Temple Terrace Public Library in this century. Much earlier, 1960 to be exact, I was a member of THE GREAT BOOKS CLUB of The Broadripple Public Library of Indianapolis in which the late William Ruckelshaus (1932 – 2019) chaired the group.

Ruckelshaus is best known for his part in the October 20, 1973, “Saturday Night Massacre” as an assistant Attorney General under Elliot Richardson, when both resigned rather than carry out President Nixon’s order to fire Watergate special prosecutor, Archibald Cox. Cox sought the “Nixon tape recordings” that would incriminate the sitting president.

Ruckelshaus, as I remember him, displayed an open and moral mind and a gracious disposition. THE GREAT BOOKS CLUB of Broadripple was loaded with Ivy League colleagues, which I found somewhat intimidating as they all seemed so much more knowing and knowledgeable than I was, a person then in my twenties and a chemical sales engineer for Nalco.

Your discussion group colleague who didn’t want to discuss capital punishment may have been neither of an open nor a moral mind but wandered into the group to have something to do, which happens to many elders no longer gainfully employed.

I choose to see individuals such as yourself as “Think Tank” enthusiasts where your think tank may be of a solitary member. You influence others simply through the passion of your own inquiry.

The late French American Jacques Barzun (1907 – 2012) I’ve often thought of as a “Think Tank” of one. He came to my attention some years ago when I read his “House of Intellect” (1959). It was a precursor to his magna opus, “From Dawn to Decadence” (2000) that I read last year. I mention these two books sixty years apart because Barzun predicted the culture wars in academia and politics, education and commerce, but apparently, to no avail as the political, societal, academic and cultural skirmishes, he defined in the 20th century, continue unabated in the 21st. My wonder is if well established and even prestigious “think tanks” have any more impact than solitary ones.

Barzun wrote in “The House of Intellect” of the posturing exclusivity of the intelligentsia (art), the regressive effects of the humanities (science) that in turn cultivate demeaning equality and psychology of help (philanthropy), which he calls “the three enemies of the intellect.” On the other hand, what gives “From Dawn to Decadence” a human touch is Barzun’s admitting that “a few intrepid souls will turn with new curiosity to the neglected past to use it to create a new present.”

My sense is that Plato’s moral mind and Aristotle’s open mind are in good repair in your quest for balance and to know.

My sense is that Plato’s moral mind and Aristotle’s open mind are in good repair in your quest for balance and to know.  We develop values over a long life which are based on perceptions, which I see as a Sense of Self (Our Personality), Sense of Place & Space (Our Geography) and A Sense of Self-Worth (Our Demography). We need not apologize for nor feel the need to proselytize such mindedness. It is part of the content of our character, and although fallible and malleable, demonstrates a consistency that life experience has taught us. 

Your friend may have feared being called “an old foggy” for believing or not believing in the death penalty. Sociological research has shown that the death penalty has never proven a deterrent to crime. Others may feel abortion at any stage in terms of pregnancy is a moral issue and has nothing to do with an open or closed mind. Given these and similar controversial topics, it is obvious sentiments have changed in the American culture before WWII as opposed to what they are today, suggesting morality is in the mind-of-times. Indeed, the evidence would suggest that behavior today is driven more by “what is legal” than “what was considered moral” yesterday. 

In my case, as a Peripatetic Philosopher and pedestrian empirical researcher I tend to use that source as the foundation of what I hope is an open and moral mind using both nonfiction and fiction to illustrate my pondering and findings.

Take DEVLIN, THE NOVEL, where the protagonist finds himself caught in a moral dilemma in which 20 percent of the white population subjugates the 80 percent black and brown population to draconian rule with the rationale of moral justification that “it is for their own good.”  An exchange between Devlin and a waitress in a restaurant within the mammoth confines of the Johannesburg Train Station is offered to illustrate this point.


THE JOHANNESBURG TRAIN STATION

Winding through the downtown streets zigzagging without any particular destination only to find himself in front of the gigantic Johannesburg Train Station. He parked his car in front of the low-slung main terminal building, grabbed his briefcase from the back seat, got out and looked around.

There was a trickle of Bantu natives moving toward the terminal from three different directions, mainly on foot, the sun following them as if a giant spotlight. He obligingly joined their ranks into the terminal as if drawn by a giant magnet, going from lightness of the afternoon sun to the dreary darkness of the terminal interior. Everything seemed smoky gray, the lighting poor, but that could also be as Devlin’s eyes had not yet adjusted to the change in light intensity.

The terminal resembled the 1930s Chicago & North Western Depot only seemingly several times larger. Like that depot, the Johannesburg station had marble-tiled floors and low-slung mahogany benches. It was the kind of place you might catch a glimpse of as you rushed towards the streamliner, Twentieth Century, to spirit you off across the American continent with the conductor picking up the steps to your compartment and slamming the door shut on you. He saw the same desperation in these black faces now.

The pushing and jostling was maddening as he found himself dodging terminal workers and their baggage carts bellowing what he suspected was “Get out of the way” in some African dialect. He was then knocked off balance by an overweight woman clutching her bulky bags seemingly aghast to find a white face blocking her progress. He tipped his hatless head to her in apology, then smiled to himself. Apartheid didn’t rule the waves here.

He looked around and could see the massive movement of people was increasing, calculating that men now outnumbered women. They would give him a quick glance and then move on leaving him with the image of their tired faces, pained filled eyes, and weary legs while never lowering their tempo. They didn’t look around, check their watches, or stop to greet or chat with a companion. This was a routine cauterized in their hard wiring if not their souls. They knew where they were going, where they had been, and were not about to tarry.

Their ages ranged from young, say in their twenties to forties but not much beyond. Despite obvious fatigue, they all looked fit, vigorous, virile, and surprisingly well dressed. Unlike Devlin, none of the men were wearing ties and none of the women high heels. The men were dressed comfortably in casual cloth coats, colorful sweaters, pants, shirts, and shoes, with all the ladies wearing dresses, coats and sensible shoes.

Devlin moved out of the flow to a kiosk selling newspapers, magazines and paperbacks. The Rand Daily Mail, The International Herald Tribune, and The London Times came to his office, but he picked up a copy of each and paid the seller, looked at the books and was surprised to find many written in Afrikaans. He reminded himself to see if W. H. Smith was the only proper English bookstore. To his right he saw a small restaurant, went in and sat down at the counter. He was the only customer with scores of people streaming past the window.

“Yes?” a young lady said with false joviality, her smiling lips failing to reach her boring eyes. The place had the feel of an Amsterdam pub with tobacco-smoke-stained walls and ceiling. The eatery was drab and dark like a dungeon, cold and clammy, too, and Devlin loved it. The woman was small, fiery he suspected, with short brown hair, a round face full of freckles and the deep throaty voice of a smoker. She had the exiled look of the Irish, as he expected he did as well, white and melancholy, and out of place, but that was only a guess. He was having trouble making out the South African accent, which might sound English one moment, Australian the next, Dutch, or even German. It was best to be discrete.

“Sir,” she repeated. “Do you know where you are?”

He smiled sheepishly. “The Johannesburg Train Terminal. I came to get an American cup of coffee.” She smiled with her eyes, amused with the lie. While she was getting his coffee, he picked up a menu, which was written in Afrikaans. To cover his embarrassment, he pointed to a sign and said, “Does that sign say what I think it does?”

“And what might that be?”

“Whites only.”

“Yes. What about it?”

“Nothing,” he hedged. My God, woman, he wanted to say, hundreds and hundreds of people are streaming into this place and this restaurant is not for them; if not for them, for whom as you and I are the only white people I see?

Reading his face, she said, “You have come here at a bad time. Over the next few hours there will be thousands of Bantu flooding the station to make their scheduled trains for SOWETO.

“SOWETO?” he said playing dumb.

“South West African Township where they live.”

“Have you ever been there?”

She put her pretty hands on her hips and looked at him with contempt, “Now what business would that be of yours?” She seemed to tremble at the thought. “Really!” She said in disgust.

Devlin chose to change the subject. “Why the rush? There hasn’t been an exodus like this since the sacking of Rome.” She looked at him incomprehensively. “Ah, when the Huns and Visigoths invaded Rome and …,” seeing the hole he had dug himself into, he added, “it was in a movie I saw.”

“Oh! They don’t have a choice. They carry green pass books, and if they’re in the city after their curfew, they could go to jail.”

“Jail for what?” Devlin felt somewhat phony for asking, as he knew the answer from his reading, but wanted to hear it from the lips of an authentic Afrikaner.

“For violating curfew.”

“You don’t mean jail jail?”

“I mean precisely that.”

Oh, no, he said to himself. It is as bad as the books say.

“Are you sick?” she said, noticing him resting his chin on his hands, and his color becoming ashen. “Do you want me to call a doctor?”

“No, no. I’m all right. Just a little tired.” He felt insincere for admitting this, although it was true he felt a little faint. This didn’t match the pain of what rumbled beyond this sanctuary.

“You’re American, aren’t you?”

He nodded, still with his head in his hands.

“You must be important.”

Why does everyone think that? “No, I’m not important. I’m just an employee like you.”

“Yes, sure you are!” She looked at him hard. “I can see it in the way you’re dressed. I’ve seen clothes like yours on models in style magazines.” Then she added suspiciously, “What are you doing in a place like this?”

“Getting a cup of coffee.”

“You shouldn’t be here. This is not a place for a foreigner to be.”

“I didn’t know there were restricted areas.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I meant foreigners avoid the Bantu, and well they should.”

“I didn’t know Bantu areas were places to avoid.” How could he tell her he wasn’t your typical foreigner, and that if anything, he preferred Bantu to his own kind?

“Well, SOWETO is one of the places. I don’t mean to be rude. I am just being candid.”

“I’m new to this country. I’ve only been here a few months.”

“That is pretty obvious.”

“Will you tell me more about these pass books?”

“Not much to tell. Typically, a person from SOWETO answers an ad for a job in the city, is hired and is given a passbook sanctioned by the Afrikaner Government. The worker’s employer pays the worker in terms of the agreed contract and signs off every day. A Bantu worker must never be without his passbook. The passbook stipulates when and for how long this worker is authorized to be in the city, and beyond that time, the worker is considered delinquent, and in violation of the law, and subject to prosecution, which includes serving jail time.”

“Could a worker be jailed if he lost or forgot his passbook?”

“Oh, yes, indeed he could. That is an old excuse. When his work is done, he is not meant to loiter, but to return to his home.” She said this with a flat confidence that nothing could be more logical.

“A few months ago, I visited a goldmine in the Transvaal. Is it true these workers stay there for weeks if not months?”

“Oh, yes, they are residents of the mine. They couldn’t very well come and go from their homelands and get any work done. Why, they’d be traveling most of the time. That would be expensive. Pardon my candor but quite stupid, don’t you think?”

He ignored mention of homelands and the logic of the requirements, and said instead, “You seem very knowledgeable of this policy,” taking pains not to mention apartheid, “and speak excellent English.”

Not impressed with the compliment, she looked him in the eye, “That’s a polite way to say, ‘for an Afrikaner’.”

“No, I meant no offense. I envy you being fluent in English and Afrikaans, but yes, I assumed you were an Afrikaner. There is a pleasant lilt to your English.”

This softened her gaze but not her retort. “Of course, I’m an Afrikaner. It’s my country.”

“A beautiful and splendid country it is.”

“Thank you, thank you very much. We’re very proud of being Afrikaners, very proud of our country.”

“Would you tell me more about the jailing of these people?”

“Why are you asking these questions? Are you writing a book?”

“I’m new to this country, and just want to get a feel how the country manages law and order, civil and business practices.” Then stopping to see how this was registering, encouraged by her pensive pose, he continued. “I think it is necessary for me to know as much as I can to do my job, which requires I understand the culture. Could I explain my difficulty?”

Her gaze hardened folding her arms over her chest but saying nothing. Encouraged, Devlin continued. “Imagine if I have a Bantu working for me whom I kept working over his designated time, say a couple of hours, and he missed his scheduled train, and I failed to clear this with authorities, or to make the proper notation in his passbook, what then?”

“Well, that would be devastating for that Bantu. First, authorities wouldn’t believe him or her because kaffirs lie all the time. Nor would authorities be likely to check with you, a foreigner. Besides they’re used to such excuses.”

“How do you get used to jailing people for something not their fault, something so insignificant, and certainly something not criminal?”

“But it is criminal, don’t you see? It’s a violation of the law. Separate development of the races is right. It is fair. Blacks are different than we are. They are people who believe in witchcraft and the tokoloshe and the spirit of their forefathers. When I was a little girl, my father took me to a place where they lived.”

“Was it SOWETO?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. The streets were dirty, glutted with trash, the houses little more than shacks, and no one had a garden. I asked my father why they didn’t have gardens. He said because they have so little pride. He then said the government gave them separate homelands because they murdered each other so readily. But why, father, I asked, why kill anyone? It is because they couldn’t be more unlike us, he answered.” She paused surprising herself with this outpouring. “Your country applies sanctions on my country. You criticize us because you don’t know us. You don’t understand us. You don’t know our black people. You think our blacks are like your blacks.”

“Like ours?”

“Yes, I see your blacks in your movies and they are always happy, funny and entertaining. Your blacks speak the same American English, wear beautiful clothes, and play such roles as Othello. Ours are different. They destroy things, never smile, always angry and unfriendly. They speak a hundred languages nobody understands. You’ll see. They’re not one people but many different tribes: Xhosa, Zulu, Tswana, Bapedi, Swazi, Ndebele, Venda, I could go on forever, and they’re all here, coming through this station.”

“But miss, they are human beings, are they not? Surely, you can see they are people who love their families and their homes modest as they may be. To take this from them for violating a passbook or green card, and to go to prison for it, don’t you think that is a little extreme?”

“They get used to it,” she said folding her arms again over her chest. “And it’s not extreme. It’s necessary.”

“How do you get used to jail for something . . . so venial?”

“Well, they do. After all, they’re children and we are their grownups. We tell them over and over again this is the law, this is what you do and what you don’t do, and yet they do it just the same, like children. This is the consequence if they break curfew. It is as simple as that. But they don’t seem to get it. We have literally thousands in prison.”

“For how long?”

“How long?”

“Yes, let’s say I’m a Bantu and I’ve broken curfew, picked up by a policeman, my green card is delinquent, and I’m rushed off to jail. How long will I be detained?”

“Oh, I see your point. The law says they can hold you up to 90 days.”

“Three months? You can’t be serious.” But he knew she was. “On what charge?”

“There doesn’t have to be a charge.”

“They can hold me for no reason other than having a delinquent green card?”

“Yes, but it is for your own good.”

Incredible, for my own good, and she believes this! He decided to take another approach. “Let us say, I’m in jail. What would I be doing?”

“You would be placed on work details according to your capabilities or the needs at the time. There is a lot of literature on this. I’m certainly no expert.”

“You’ve been most kind, and I appreciate your candor. But to be equally candid, I think I will have difficulty getting my mind around all this.”

“I don’t agree. Apartheid is a perfectly logical policy. It seems obvious to me that my government is doing what is best for my country.”

“And for the Bantu?”

“Especially for the Bantu.”

Devlin’s headache was now approaching a migraine. He thanked the waitress for her patience with him and the information. He gave her a generous tip and left. Just as he was leaving, and as she had predicted, hordes of humanity were rushing to the train station with serious faces, their heads down with tic like glances at the giant clock on the terminal’s dome, which looked down on them as if the Face of God, monitoring their movement in intoxicating waves as they blanketed the parking lot and swelled through the terminal doors.

The terminal was transformed into a green island in a black sea of humanity rushing through the fissures of Devlin’s mind pulsating with a throbbing rhythm and intensity that might explode his brain at any moment. He grabbed a railing for support.

Individuals were transmogrified into a collective black sea undulating through this green island not prodded by pitchforks or guns but by a draconian law that was accepted as socially just by ordinary good people such as this young waitress. Devlin had read Alan Paton, his lone critical source to date on this society. He would now read other South African authors to gain some purchase of this strange and wonderful land.

He fought through the crowd to the kiosk and bought another notebook, which he would lock in the glove compartment of his car. He would write in it at home, sitting by the fireplace while Sarah and the children were fast asleep, and pour his heart and soul out in cryptic code. These scribbled notes, triggered by his memory and imagination, were sentinels to his sanity.

These notes would be aspirins to his soul, he thought, while his temples throbbed as he left the terminal. He walked leisurely to his car through the people who opened a path for him, and then closed it behind him as they threaded their way towards the terminal. He unlocked his car, fell into the seat, sat there for several minutes, started the engine, and then drove slowly away from this beautiful experience. Would his life match this experience, he wondered, would it keep constant the bond he now felt?

Is South Africa my prison? Am I in a cave of my own making doomed to be forever lost in this assignment? Thoughts of his da now invaded his mind. Am I anxious because he died so young at the age of 50? I won’t be that age for twenty years. Will I make it? He rolled the Sisyphus rock up the hill only to be buried by it again and again. Is that everyman’s plight? He suffered for my arrogance and I suffered for his humility. Both are aspects of the same coin. Perhaps that is why there is no escape.

Devlin thought his education mattered; that his success and rise to power and influence mattered. But did it? Weren’t his four healthy children evidence he had escaped Sisyphus? Was he not better educated, more cultured and attuned to the rhythms of the universe than most men? So why did he feel Michael the Archangel was engineering his fall from grace? Was he trying to mask his arrogance with false humility? Did this poison his spirit? Why did he always think of his da when he felt incomplete? God help me! I am as lost as these Afrikaners are in their apartheid!

He drove past the office and headed for home, hoping Sarah and the children would be out on some soiree so he could visit with Josiah the Bantu gardener without having to explain why.

* * * 

Afrikaner Apartheid ended in 1994 or 46 years after it was instituted in 1948 when South Africa became an independent Afrikaner nation. Twenty six years later, it is struggling to bring the Bantu and Coloreds into a common stream as a nation although of many Bantu ethnicities. I found apartheid reprehensible in 1968 when I lived there, not in terms of an open or closed mind, but as a morality issue.

As you point out, there is benefit to having an open mind to discuss issues, which helps people clarify why they think as they do.  This brings us back to the matter of conscience, which I cover in another missive. 

An individual need not apologize for a moral philosophy, but that same individual should not insist that his morality is absolute.  As Jacques Barzun campaigned for a more open mind with his "House of Intellect" (1959) and "Dawn to Decadence" (2000), Chicago professor Alan Bloom described eloquently “The Closing of the American Mind” (1987) yet little has changed. 

* * * 

Then there is the case of the architect of the atomic bomb, J. Robert Oppenheimer, and President Harry S. Truman who authorized the dropping of the atomic bomb on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in August 1945 to end the Second World War in the Pacific.   They differed decidedly in terms of an “OPEN MIND” & “MORAL MIND.”

The meeting between Oppenheimer and Truman on October 25, 1945 did not go well. It was then that Oppenheimer famously told Truman that "I feel I have blood on my hands", which was unacceptable to Truman, who immediately replied that that was no concern of Oppenheimer's, and that if anyone had bloody hands, it was the president.

Oppenheimer felt as though the future was in the balance, and that the American government was using/would use the bomb as a political tool against the Soviet Union. Actually, the employment of the bomb as a part of American foreign policy was  a new affair, and the application of it as a sort of Pax Atomica was a wholly new development.

That meeting in the Oval Office indicated in terms of "open mind" and "moral mind" that the president had little use for Oppenheimer's "hand wringing" and moral questioning of the president's use of the bomb, seeing the scientist second-guessing his  decision. 

A coldness descended in the meeting, as Truman later told David Lillenthal that he "never wanted to see that son of a bitch in this office again." Truman would retell the story in different ways, but with generally the same result, waxing about how he dismissed the "cry-baby scientist" (see American Prometheus: The Triumph & Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer, Kai Bird & Martin J. Sherwin, 2005).

Thank you for your pondering,

Jim 

 

Sunday, December 06, 2020

ANOTHER CURIOUS COMMENT -- THIS ON CONSCIENCE



ANOTHER CURIOUS COMMENT -- THIS ON CONSCIENCE

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.

© December 6, 2020 

GEORGE WRITES:

Determination to help others understand something for their own benefit, without reward is, I suggest, conscience in action. No one talks about conscience for some reason. Hmmm? Now, I have noticed the world is full of people who imagine they know what's best for others, then proceed to impose their will on those people and cause major damage in the process. Books are written on it of course. We are a strange species, eh? =)

I RESPOND

George,

It is okay if readers read themselves into what others write.

Colonel Ted recently wrote something that was quite grownup and insightful.

He said he had been trying to change my thinking about things with his somewhat elaborate dissertations when my thinking disagreed with his.

He finally gave up realizing I wasn't interested in changing my views, as they were my views, hoping only that they might clarify the reader's views, not substitute mine for the reader's.

Ideas are not conveniently reduced to the "either/or" world of Kierkegaard. Ideas are either conventionally or unconventionally "either" in some instances "or" in others.

You are correct. No one speaks about conscience because no one thinks in terms of conscience, leastwise those born after WWII.

This has exasperated theologians and clerics but not to the point of changing. Alas, they continue to preach the same fear, guilt, shame, hell, fire and damnation, the sinfulness of us all, that had worked so well or since the time of Martin Luther, a credulity that people prior to WWII consumed without reflection but with deep affection. 

It is an idea that has become a self-fulfilling prophecy that has little valence with the reality of the 21st century. People are not bad; people do good and bad things; but people are not inherently evil.

A writer of ideas is always trying to gain control of this concept by expressing it in terms that might resonate with people of conscience. 

DEVLIN, THE NOVEL is such an attempt. It is the story about a man in a metaphorical canoe without a paddle looking for a green island in a black sea which in this case is South Africa.

Our society, indeed, our civilization, is often in this same canoe without a paddle, behaving as insanely as young "Dirk" Devlin behaved in South Africa in 1968.

I confess to being remiss in originally applying this canoe metaphor as I failed to note the canoe was meant to symbolize “the affect,” and the canoe lacking a paddle, “a weak affect” with the land symbolizing reality.

The "affect" may be described as the outward display of one's emotional state. One can express feelings verbally, by talking about events with emotional word choices and tone. A person's "affect" also includes nonverbal communication, such as body language and gestures. A "blunted affect" displays a markedly diminished emotional expression or detachment from the reality of experience. It can also indicate symptoms of maladjustment to possibility of mental challenge.

The power of a writer, especially one of ideas, is to guide readers to the safety of the symbolic shore or reality while not dictating that they necessarily embrace that possibility.

Nor is the writer's job to demand that people step out of their canoe with or without a paddle and embrace the safety of dry land (i.e., reality). They may choose to continue to drift as Nature's WINDS dictate.

Our conscience is like the canoe without the paddles when caring is fundamentally "all about me" ("weak affect") and not "all about us" ("healthy affect"). 
 
Ideas are not a lifeline but a visual expression in words of a writer's thinking that may find a connection with the reader.

Years ago, when working for Honeywell Avionics in Clearwater, Florida, I would go to the cafeteria in Clearwater, where I liked to write. In a booth nearby, two Honeywellers were talking and the woman was telling the man, obviously not her husband, how much she enjoyed attending "Dr. Fisher's seminars."

The man said, "That has not been my experience." She asked him why. "He never tells me what to do."

I quietly retreated from them without disturbing their coffee break.

But the man did identify what is the nature of my approach to ideas.

It didn't matter to the woman, she just enjoyed the break from work in attending a seminar, but the man wanted something like "Seven Habits of Highly Successful People," which is apparently what most men want, but it is not on my agenda.

My interest is to get people to think. Recently, I removed some people from my e-mail list because they were not interested in thinking but in getting me to think as they think. They would bombard me with all kinds of information to that end, that failing, deprecating the way I think as if changing my thinking would make their world better.

Thank you for sharing,

Jim





Saturday, December 05, 2020

CURIOUS WRITER COMMENTS ON AN EXCHANGE

 

CURIOUS WRITER COMMENTS ON AN EXCHANGE

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.

© December 5, 2020

 A READER WRITES:

Ken's comment makes perfect sense to me; your response does not.  You write for the hell of it?  Really?

'm curious about your DEVLIN.  I'm not Catholic, not religious, and no nothing about Catholicism.  But I am curious about this novel.  Have you a teaser?

I RESPOND:

DEVLIN is not a novel of Catholicism much less religion but of a cocky naive young American who has lived a programmed sheltered life only to find he has entered Joseph Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness,” with no tools to buffer his fall from grace and what he believed to have been truth.

No, I don’t have a “teaser,” but below is THE PROLOGUE to DEVLIN, the novel, after the following exchange.

Jim

---------------------- 

Subject: Re: READER REFLECTS -- ANGER, OR IS IT "FAIRNESS" THAT IS MY MOTIVATOR?

KEN WRITES:

Jim,

As one who has  scratched out a living as a writer/editor/publisher of magazines and books, I find anger to be useful motivation to write and publish, but rarely receive reader acceptance unless I disguise it in humor, irony, paradox, dilemma, debate, and discussion.  

Ken Shelton, editor, agent, CEO

Executive Excellence, LLC

I RESPOND:

Ken, of course, you are right.  

My BB claims I am a gifted novelist in the sense of the existential absurd, finding DEVLIN a powerful novel in that sense, a novel stark and bare if not brutal in the pathos of conventional everyday life.  

F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, 

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."  

DEVLIN is highly successful young executive managing the formation of a new chemical conglomerate in South Africa while falling apart inside, finally realizing he has no choice but to "drop out" of society and his affluence economic life to survive, despite having a wife and four children to support, while essentially moving to the zenith of his career although not yet 35.

DEVLIN is back in Chicago having just returned from South Africa.  He has resigned from the company that controls him, finding himself walking into the Church that owns him.

The book opens with DEVLIN going to confession at a Catholic Church in downtown Chicago, and ends with that confession some 540 pages later.  As DEVLIN is leaving the confessional, the priest reminds him, "But, my son, I have not giving you your penance."

DEVLIN stops and smiles at the priest, "Father, life is my penance."

Readers may see my books as anger books or whatever, but this DEVLIN, a novel, is the core of this existential soul who has never been concerned with readership, but rather with his conversation with God, knowing that no one is more absurd than he is.  

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Jim 

 PROLOGUE TO DEVLIN, THE NOVEL

 Downtown Chicago Loop – Friday, June 13, 1969

The tall blond young American walked with the cocky self-assurance of an athlete.  Dressed in a deep blue Hickey Freeman vested pinstripe suit, white shirt with monogram cufflinks, burgundy tie with a Phi Beta Kappa tie clasp, his highly polished Florshiem shoes clicking like happy feet as he strolled down Chicago’s Michigan Avenue.  

His head moved like a periscope with flat eyes above the early evening crowd.  Everyone was in a hurry going nowhere.  The crowd was unaware of him and he was conscious of it.  He ran his hand through his short military clipped hair and over his chiseled features.  He could pass for a Nordic European except for the scornful assurance of an American.  

The wind off Lake Michigan forced his head down into his chest.  He cut his way through the midtown shoppers as he once did through the line for Crescent High as a fullback.  He avoided eye contact, as if someone might recognize him.  Why?  He didn’t know.  Was it because people believed he could see through them?  It was nonsense, but it worked for him.  His long quick strides were a force of habit as he had no special place to go.   

Earlier in the day, he was standing by the door of the El waiting to step off at the loop, when two young toughs came down the aisle rolling their shoulders menacingly.  He felt his body tense, a delicious sensation coursed through him, his steel blue eyes taking measure of the lads like bionic lasers.  

"You got a problem, pretty boy?” one asked.  He waited for the slightest hint of aggression.  The tough’s accent was from the projects on the lower south side, where his da had been born in the Irish ghetto.  They were dressed like clones of some wannabe gang, baseball caps on backward, Cubs’ jackets, cigarettes dangling from thin lips, baggy jeans, US Army surplus boots, acne complexions, bad teeth, soldiers without a cause.  They passed giving him a wide berth. 

If that was intimidation, he smiled, it beat putting them in the hospital.  They were too young to understand rage.  You have to suffer real pain, real loss to have a fire in your belly.  Theirs was an imitation brand.

His intensity inward, his amused expression masking his outward malevolence.  Why should he be surprised?  He lived an accidental life, here today gone tomorrow.  The young toughs hadn’t a clue.  The fact they act tough to control their fear differed little with his dressing up to control his.  He doubted seriously if they had ever been east of Evanston.  He had worked everywhere, seen everything, but was he not equally anxious?  They hid their angst in bravado; he hid his in a well-tailored suit.  Life is up for grabs and nothing works out as you expect.  Most people stay close to home, do nothing, go nowhere, just fester like boils, then explode and die.  Others like him, do everything, go everywhere, and die just the same.  You would think doers would be happier, but they aren’t.  He’s proof.  We’re here a little while to fool around and then die.  Happiness is a myth.  The toughs seem to sense this.  Perhaps that is their real beef.    

*     *     *

Life was a puzzle to Seamus “Dirk” Devlin.  Its perplexities found him wandering the streets wherever he was. Tonight it found him at the door of old St. Patrick’s Catholic Church off Michigan Avenue and Randolph Street.  He pushed open the large wooden door of the vestibule immediately smelling the incense and age of the place.  His hope was to find some quiet to placate his demons who had been riled up earlier in the day by the company brass.  Like spiteful children, they took pleasure in hiring and firing, but were unable to fathom a colleague firing the company as he had done.  

The Friday Novena was just ending with people lining up to go to confession.  He made his way to the center aisle genuflected making the Sign of the Cross.   Except for those going to confession, the church quickly emptied.  He moved down the aisle looking at the bas-relief statues of the Stations of the Cross on the side walls of the clerestory with secondary altars framing the main nave with the Blessed Virgin Mary’s on the left and St. Joseph’s on the right flanking the main altar.  He glanced back at the solemn line of confessors, wondering if any were as lost as he was.  

Devlin lit a candle at the foot of the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary, knelt down at the white marble altar rail and made a wish instead of saying a prayer, as this was his first visit to the church, then remained there until the last person left the confessional.  

Before the priest could leave the confessional, he rushed to the confessor’s door, inhaling the scented rosemary wood, knelt on the cushioned kneeler, breathing hard waiting for the priest to slide the lattice window open, separating the priest from the confessor, feeling a bit frantic and winded after escaping the world that controlled him only to enter the world that owned him.  

The priest mumbled his greeting in a few automatic Latin words, familiar to Devlin as he once was an altar boy, then paused for the confessor to fill the void.  Devlin cleared his throat, then in a distinct stentorian voice said, “Bless me Father for I am bored.  I am sorry for this and all my past boredoms.  It has been about a week since my last confession.”

“Pardon me, my son?  What did you say?”

“I said, ‘I am bored’, Father,” his voice rising to a shrill.

“You don’t need to shout, my son.  Do you understand this is a confessional and that I’m a Catholic priest?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Are you a Catholic?"

“Yes, Father, of the worst kind, Irish Roman Catholic.”

Silence.

“It is a week since my last Confession.”

“You’ve already said that, my son, but I don’t understand.”

“Father, you mean you’ve never heard a person confess to being bored to death; that life is meaningless, empty; and that someone can feel utterly useless, robotic, disengaged?”

“Well, yes, I suppose I have.  But what are your sins, my son?”

“What are my sins?” Devlin laughed nervously.  “Pardon me for that, Father, but first of all, I am not your son, and secondly, you are not my father; you are my confessor, my priest.”

“Yes.  I hear anger in your voice.”

“It is not anger, Father, it is boredom!  My sins, Father, are that of being bored.  I feel powerless to go forward or to be able to do anything about it.”

“Why are you bored?”

Devlin sighed.  “Why am I bored?  Well, now that is a story.”

“Well, this is not the place to tell stories, my son, you should know that.  This is the place to expiate your guilt, confess your sins, and ask for absolution.”

“Those are poetic but meaningless words, Father, especially expiation and absolution.  You’re going to expiate my boredom and grant me absolution?”  Before the priest could answer, he continued.  “May I be candid?”  Devlin didn’t wait for a reply.  “I’m weary, just turned 34, what you might call an educated man with a degree in chemical engineering, a master’s in industrial chemistry, earning $68,000 this past year not counting perks and privileges and paying no American income taxes.”  He took a deep breath surprised at his candor but muddled on.  “I have everything and nothing at all.  I am reduced to a dichotomy.”

“You earned what?”

“$68,000, and as I said, and paid no taxes.  I am what you call an ex-patriot doing my bidding for an American company abroad.”

“Are you speaking in American dollars?”

“Indeed I am.  If in Kruger Rands, it would be more than 95,000.”

“You must be very successful.”

“Not anymore. I’ve retired.”

“You’ve retired?  But you said you’re only 34.”

“Yes.”

Silence.  “What is your explanation for this?”

“Absolute, unequivocal, unmitigated boredom.”

Silence.

Devlin filled the void.  “That is why I’m here, Father.”

Pause.  “You mentioned the Kruger Rand.  You work in South Africa?”

“Worked, Father, past tense.  I no longer work there.  Yes, the Rand is the monetary currency equivalent to 1.4 American dollars.”  

“I see.  I still do not see what sins are troubling you, my son.”

“Cannot boredom be a sin, Father?  I am drowning in boredom.  I am unable to shake it.  I have no idea what the next chapter of my life will be.”

Father Anthony Dressler sighed deeply.  It had been a long day: two masses in the morning, light breakfast, off to Cook County Hospital for sick call, no lunch, quick drink at O’Hara’s on Halsted with a priest friend from St. Mark’s, back to St. Patrick’s for dinner with Monsignor Donovan, Novena at 7 p.m., then confessions, knowing he still had to say his Office.  He craved a cigarette and three-fingers of scotch.  How to get rid of this impertinent young man?  The seven deadly sins came to mind.  He took a deep breath, and asked, “Have you committed adultery, my son?”  

“Have I committed adultery?”  Devlin laughed heartily causing his confessor to involuntarily wince.  “Oh, yes, Father, adultery and I are old friends.”

“But that’s a mortal sin, my son.”

“Yes, indeed, it is.”

“Have you committed adultery recently?”

“Indeed, I have.”

“Are you sorry for that sin?”

“Well, yes and no.”

 “You cannot be ambivalent about mortal sin, my son, surely you know that.”

“I’m ambivalent about everything, Father, which is the reason I’m here if that is at all helpful.”

The priest crossed himself to hide his exasperation.  “Do you have a family?”

“Yes, Father, a wife and four children.”

“Can’t you see where you’ve compromised them?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sorry?”

“Yes and no.”

I don’t understand, my son.”

“Yes, Father, I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused my children.  They are innocent in this affair, but no, I’m not sorry for the pain I’ve caused my wife.  You see I have no sense of guilt or remorse, only anxiety and boredom.”  

“This is a most unusual Confession.”

“Well, it’s a most unusual situation.  I just came back from South Africa and . . .”

“You’ve already told me that.”

Devlin ignored the interruption. “I was imagining while I was waiting for you, what if apartheid was practiced here in Chicago; what if Mayor Richard Daley was its architect.  What would the policy of Cardinal John Cody of the Archdiocese of Chicago be towards this racial betrayal?  Would the good Cardinal fight it?  Or would the diocese collapse to the whim of the mayor’s authority and be a puppet to the government?  That is the case of the Roman Catholic Church of South Africa: blind, deaf and dumb to the basic freedoms denied the Bantu peoples.”

“That is a libelous view, my son, I think on reflection you would see that.  The church is puppet to no one except the Mystical Body of Christ and Holy Mother Church.”

The silence was like a heavy syrup suffocating the breathing on both sides of the confessional.  After nearly a minute, the priest said, “Well?”

“Father, it may sound dubious,” Devlin uttered in a somewhat more conciliatory voice, not wanting the priest to bolt, “but my pastor in South Africa, a missionary from Ireland, was as much a tool of the Afrikaner Government’s apartheid policy” as any man could be.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh?”

“I only wish that it were. I kept a notebook of the number of times I attempted to have a conversation with him about this practice without success.  I was rebuked, ignored, cut off at the pass by an assistant priest, and finally threatened with deportation.”

“Perhaps that could be traced to your ill-mannered hostility.”  

“Not at first, Father, but yes, that is a fair assumption.  I became increasingly angry the more I witnessed abuses to the Bantu peoples.  I needed to talk to someone; attempted the subject in confession only to have my pastor shut the window on me without granting me absolution, can you believe that?  

“Corporate people such as myself have a vested interest in apartheid.  I thought my pastor the exception.  I was wrong.  I think it hostile when people are murdered and nothing is done about it; when land is taken without redress to its owners; when families are split up as a matter of State and not of the will of the people; when people are forced to live in the most deplorable conditions; when the 20 percent white minority have the vote, and the 80 percent black majority do not; when the rule of law and order stops at color. Yes, I think hostility is an accurate assessment of my angst.”

“This is all very interesting, my son, but of course subjective, possibly irrational.  It is what you assume to be the case, am I correct?”

“Father, my gardener was murdered on my estate.  When I attempted to find out why and by whom, the police treated the matter as if a dog had been killed.  He was my friend, a good man, an honorable man, and he was twenty-seven-years-old.  That is concrete, not speculative.  When events keep crashing against your values, your frustration blunted by disgust, what other purchase can there be?

“Was the murder the cause of your depression?”

Father, now you’re being patronizing.”

“I don’t mean to be but I sense your feeling of helplessness.”

Devlin gave a deep sigh, “You have no idea.”  

“I’m listening.”  The priest saw fire in the eyes of the young man through the wooden lattice window that separated them in the confessional.  He had seen it before.  He forgot about his cigarette and drink.  

“My anchors” Devlin made a sweep of the confessional with his hands in its narrow confines, “have been my company, country, government and church, and they now are all gone.  They have been swept out to sea.  I have been treading water, Father, in a foreign land buttressed by disturbing news about the United States from secondary sources, and I’m drowning.  Do you understand what I’m saying?  America is coming apart at the seams.  Not just me.  Meanwhile, South Africa is lock stepping to apartheid that I see every day.  It leaves me disconnected.  I have had no other option than to sink into boredom.”

“You’re a most disturbed young man.”

“I think that is an honest and accurate if patronizing assessment.  Yes, I am disturbed, but from my perspective, with reason. But words hide resolve, Father.  I know.  I am good with words.  

“If emotionally conflicting, Father, and I think I am, what does that make of my rational ordering society to which I have returned?   If I’m distraught, what does that say about Roman Catholicism and Christian morality?  No one is more Christian than Afrikaners.  If I’m unhinged, what does that say about my country, which appears at war with itself?  Am I to take it that I’m out-of-control but everything around me is under control?  I find that ironic. Pathetic.”

“If you insist.”

“Father, I’m not trying to win debating points.  Can’t you see the basis of my boredom?”

“Again, if you insist.”

“I do, Father, for everything has lapsed into contradiction.  Nothing is real; everything celebrated as real is not.”

The priest smiled, but not unkindly.  “So, now you’re a psychologist.”  

“No.  Nor am I a philosopher, Father.  This has been my experience in a pivotal year, but it seems a pivotal year for my country as well.  If I live a long life I’m certain I will look back on this as a defining moment.” 

He laughed self-consciously wondering if the priest was still listening.  He could feel him breathing. 

“If I’m having a nervous breakdown, Father, it seems so is my country.  1968 was a traumatic year for us both.  Our country’s leadership is in shambles; our infrastructure is in chaos; our institutions a mockery of ineptitude; our value systems as porous as a sieve.  I have no anchor, Father, nor apparently has my country.  We are both seemingly detached from reality.  We wander off into space or explore the ocean’s depths and celebrate our escape from self-doubt.  We make fancy new things and indulge our fancies with them while our crumbling spirit is ignored which is the engine of our soul.”

Now sotto voce he’s a priest the cleric whispers to himself.     

Devlin continued, “You mentioned earlier psychology and philosophy.  We have them both in spades, of course, but what good are they?  These disciplines play word games only to blight our spirits.  Obviously, I’m troubled.  Why wouldn’t I be having seen what I’ve seen, done what I’ve done?  Am I wearing the mask of sanity in an insane world, or insanity’s mask in a sane one?  Father, which is it?”

The priest furrowed his brow cupped his hands under his chin and bowed his head in prayer.  Was this why I became a priest, or was it to escape this?  This young man is disturbed, quite so, but what he says, had I not thought it as well?  For the first time, the priest felt some empathy for the young man.  Confused?  Angry?  Yes, but what to do? 

The priest said finally, “It is clear you are in pain, my son, however, I wonder if this is the place to continue this.”

“Father, I am the last one in this church.  I am the last one having my confession heard.  I have traveled more than 12,000 miles in the last 36 hours.  I’ve been drilled all day by a bunch of pompous asses who sit on mahogany row mesmerized by numbers oblivious to the real world.  They have no idea what I am about.  Each time I see them, I marvel.  They never change; they stay the same; they miss the changes; and wonder why the future is always up for grabs.  I would like you to indulge me a bit longer.  I’d like to tell you a story.  Then perhaps you can advise me whether it is I or my world that is mad.”

“A story?”

“Yes, it is a story about sins of omission and commission; about the multinational corporation and how it views indigenous peoples as disposable symbols of profit and loss; about a church more interested in its survival than its mission; about a time obsessed with the products of the mind at the expense of the heart; about not being able to truly love a woman or hate a man.  It’s about the present panic of now; about the greatest sin of all, which is waste; and about not being able to live a useful life.  In the absence of love in a universe of hate and betrayal, everything is reduced to the common denominator of boredom.”

“Is it a true story?”

“I only wish it wasn’t.”

"Then, my son, please continue.”  Devlin does.