BRITNEY, 15, THE FUTURE BELONGS TO YOU!

BRITNEY, 15, THE FUTURE BELONGS TO YOU!

JAMES R. FISHER, JR., Ph.D.

 

American Statesman and orator William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) once wrote, Destiny is no matter of chance.  It is a matter of choice.  It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to achieve.

I was reminded of this quote as I talked to Britney, 15, yesterday, as everyone was looking forward to the NFL Super Bowl.  It was also a time for Nana Betty and Papa Jim to celebrate the birthday of our twin grandsons, Killian and Keaton, who just turned 9. 

Like many events that are serendipitous in nature, my conversation with Britney was spontaneous, but as it proved, quite revealing. 

For the past several years, I have noted the gradual evolvement of what I call the advancement of the FEMININE PARADIGM, which is a remarkable departure from convention, but quietly so, bridging the gulf between a male dominated society and an emerging feminine one.

Some sixty years ago, when I was in high school, long before they had App courses, and privileged status of students as “high talent,” I had the good fortune of being part of a small group of students, some fifteen, out of a class of some two hundred who took what came to be known as “college prep” courses: four years of English; four years of math, chemistry and physics, two years of Latin, and so on.  I mention this because of that class of 15, nearly half were girls, and they were among the brightest.

Past high school, all of them went to college, but only one followed a career in science, becoming a physician, only to give that up and ultimately become an artist and sculptor.  Moreover, whereas 80 percent of the top 10 percent in my high school class were girls, in college 80 percent of the top 10 percent were boys, as girls politely regressed back into the fold and allowed boys to take over the lead, the good jobs, the great careers, the prominent status, while the girls hoped to marry well, and be supportive of their husbands although clearly, in my view, they were superior in intellect, emotional stability, maturity, and good sense, lived within their means, and didn’t have to pretend being or having or doing what they weren’t or couldn’t afford to be doing. 

These girls, in a word, were well anchored while the boys lived in the illusion of soaring like birds with their feet never having to touch the ground.

My life as a writer and a thinker has taken this all in, and wondered what it might have been if these young ladies of sixty years ago were like Britney.  What is she like?

Britney I had never met, although I knew her stepdad from years ago when he was a boy, and a friend of my son, Michael, the father of Killian and Keaton.  We got into a conversation, as I noticed she had brought a school book with her to my son’s house, and was reading and working on a paper.  Given that this was Super Bowl Sunday that was a bit of a surprise.

Remembering when I was so occupied in studies in my day, when my jock buddies weren’t, long before the NFL and football was king, when Major League Baseball was the National Pastime, I asked her what she was studying.  She said it was history, which she admitted she wasn’t all that set on.

“What do you prefer studying?” I asked.

“Math and science.  I love chemistry.”

“Do you now?”

“Yes?” she said with a question in her eyes as if that should be some kind of a surprise.  “I’m into all my App courses, and acing everything.”  Then she paused.  “I want to be a chemical engineer.”

Remembering how grueling such studies are, and remembering my days as such a student, I started to say, when I was in school that was hardly what girls would take, but she interrupted me…

“I am going to be a chemical engineer,” she added emphatically.

I smiled at that.  “I’m sure you are,” then I asked, “What is it about science you like?”

She didn’t answer me directly, but said, “everything about chemistry and mathematics I love; I could be earning my AA degree in high school, but it would mean giving up some science, which I don’t want to do, so I had to make a difficult choice between taking pre-calculus or statistics and decided on pre-calculus because it would help me more in my chemical engineering studies.”

Wow!  That was a mouth full!  Listening to this young lady, confident, competent and engaged, remembering how I went from science and engineering to psychology, and how I lacked the same passion as she for the discipline, as my drive was more to get out of my socioeconomic basement and into something resembling a career, but always secretly loving words and ideas perhaps more than the discipline of my choice with which she was so passionately committed.

I asked, “How are you with the humanities? “  She gave me a curious look.  “With English, English literature, history,” pointing to the book on her lap, “and such things?”

She studied me briefly, and apparently decided to be candid, “Well, I do all right in them, got a ‘B’ in history so far, which is not good enough, but I’m all right in that stuff?”

“That stuff?”

“Well, yeah, I mean…”  She didn’t finish figuring I knew what she meant.  But I persisted.

“The biggest problem I have with engineers is that they don’t think ‘that stuff’ is important, and it could be at least as important as your engineering.”

“Why do you say that?”

“If you cannot frame a problem you see clearly in your mind in a way to persuade others to see the value of it as you understand the problem, in other words, if you do not develop a knack for composition and creative expression you limit your influence.”

Looking at her I thought this statement might turn her off, but her eyes told me otherwise as they burned with alertness.  I continued.  “I’ve always thought that I could teach history in such a way that every student would feel he was living, at that moment, in the period we were studying.”  I mentioned the American and French Revolution, and why they turned out so differently, and why that was important to know today.

After I finished my soliloquy, she defended her point of view, which I liked, as I was not interested in her adopting mine.  “I didn’t mean to give the impression that I don’t study these courses thoroughly, because I do, and I usually do quite well in them.  I was just trying to answer your question honestly as to where my interests were, and why I will be a chemical engineer.”

We talked about the field, and how I started out in R&D in a chemical laboratory and was terrible, then went into chemical sales engineering, and the rest was history. 

She shook her head in acknowledgement, “There are so many different fields of chemical engineering, so many different branches that I have no idea what will suit me best.  I only know I like everything I’ve read about the field.”  She then shared with me her extensive research, and it impressed me for only a sophomore in high school, to be so self-directed, self-assured and willing to make the hard choices necessary in any successful career, and to do so for one so young. 

Intrigued by this dedication – she is also a very pretty young lady – I asked, “Are all your friends in App courses, and so sure of their direction?”

“In school, they are.”

“How about outside of school?”  A long time ago, I learned ‘tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.’  We are attracted to people in the same manner as we are attracted to anything – we feel we have something in common with them and they fill out a part of ourselves that we otherwise might find missing or a void. 

Her honestly continued.  “Well, they’re not all into school like I am but they could be.”

How many times I have heard that “could be” expressed in the euphemism, “potential?”  It is a word I’ve grown to hate, almost as much as the expression, “She (he) has a high IQ and could be brilliant?” 

Intelligence is not a thing.  Intelligence is what it does.  Unlike potential, it is something that performs by doing something concrete.  

Britney is using her intelligence.  She has made the choice.  She is not waiting for something to fall into her lap.  Luck is when preparation meets opportunity, and there is no opportunity if there is no preparation unless you are counting on winning the lottery. 

Britney is taking time away from her friends, sacrificing a good time now, or a good time all the time, for something substantial in the future.  I told her I have had the good life that I have enjoyed because when I was young I had a similar drive to hers, only in a much less competitive world.  She looked at me curiously as if to say, ‘It is not such a big deal,’ but it is. 

Women are taking over medicine, dentistry, law, science and, yes, engineering because they are willing to ‘pay the price,’ an expression that was popular in my day but usually relating to athletics, not academics. 

The smartest people I have known in life, including my mother and my wife, Betty, are or were women, not because they flaunted their stuff, but because they paid attention to what was important, and possible, and ignored what was not. 

Maturity is the thing I have found lacking in our culture, some call this a lack of people behaving as adults.  Even that expression has come to be a cliché which is another ways of saying it lacks meaning.   We are in an age of few grownups, that is, with the exception of many ladies.

THE FEMININE PARADIGM is embodied in Britney with a maturity that will carry her successfully into the future. 

There are no delusions of grandeur in the eyes of this young lady, but the level head of making meaningful and positive choices now rather than waiting for a throw of the die later. 

Four hundred years ago, William Shakespeare (1564-1616) wrote, “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.”  Britney understands this.  I hope she finds a little time to read Shakespeare.  He fills in those crevices left vacant with all that engineering.

 

Copyright James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D., February 3, 2014