TALKING TO MY GRANDSON - PAY ATTENTION, STAY FOCUSED, FOLLOW THROUGH!

TALKING TO MY GRANDSON

PAY ATTENTION, STAY FOCUSED, FOLLOW THROUGH!

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.

© April 25, 2014

Over the Easter weekend, my daughter had an Easter Hunt at her home for all the grandchild.  After it was over, my grandson, Killian, nine, tall for his age, blond, and somewhat of a carbon copy of his grandfather those many decades ago, came over and sat by me, counting his loot, plastic eggs with chocolate candy inside.

He stopped and told me about school, how much he liked it, and how he was sad that the year was coming to an end.  In contrast, his twin brother, Keaton, cannot wait until school is out, and is counting the days.

“Why do you like school so much, Killian?” I asked.

He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders as if that was a silly question, and said, “I just do.”

Knowing his grandfather writes books, last Christmas he created a video, drew pictures for it, and wrote captions like a cartoonist.  His brother is a better drawer, which Killian admits, “but I still like to draw,” he offered.  Keaton begged off making a video considering it too much work.

I smiled.  “There are a lot of things I do that I don’t do very well that I like to do, too.”

“There are?” he said in disbelief. 

“Oh, yes, many things.”

“But you write books.  That must be hard?” with a question in his eyes.

“Killian, nothing is hard if you enjoy doing it for doing’s sake.”

“I don’t understand that.  What does that mean?”

“To write books, to do well in school, or to do anything well, you must pay attention, stay focused and follow through.”

“I pay attention.  Keaton has trouble paying attention.”

“What does paying attention mean to you?”

“I listen.”

“Exactly.  You listen.”

“Grandpa, what do you mean by staying focused?”

“The teacher is giving you instructions on the lesson plan.  Someone starts to giggle or creates a commotion, and everyone laughs, but you.  The reason you don’t laugh is that you are translating what the teacher is saying to what the assignment will demand you do, not later, but now.”

“I take notes.  Keaton thinks that’s funny.”

“Perhaps Keaton doesn’t take notes because he doesn’t think it is necessary.”

“He doesn’t do it because he’s always kidding around with his friends.  That’s why.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Did you take notes when you were my age?”

“Killian, I’d like to tell you I did but I think I was more like Keaton than you when I was nine.”

“More like Keaton?” disappointment in his voice.

“I’m afraid so.  It took me a long time to learn to be focused, but once I learned it I couldn’t be any other way.”

“Should I be more like Keaton?”

I ignored the question.  “Let me ask you a question.”  He nodded.  “Could you be more like Keaton?” 

He laughed, “Never!”

“There you have it.  You couldn’t be more like Keaton because you are not Keaton, nor can Keaton be more like you because he is not Killian.”

His eyebrows raised forming a question mark stare. 

“Let me ask you another question, and please, no reference to Keaton.  We are just talking about you.  Is that a deal?”

He shook his head, yes.

“Okay.  Do you always get your homework done, and done on time?”

He nodded.

“Do you always complete your assignment, and turn them in on time?”

He nodded again.

“Are you ever late for school or for completing work assigned to you that is due on a future date?”

“You mean like a school project?”

“Yes, it could be that.”

“No.  I always get my work done.”

“Why do you think that is so?”  He waited for me to give him the “correct” answer.

I waited, too.  Finally, he said, “Because I like school?”

“That is part of it.  How about tasks around the house assigned to you by your mother.  Do you do them when she asks, and complete them on time?”

He shrugged his shoulders again.  “I guess.”

“Well, that might be a bit unfair because the same formula might not be working all the time at home, although it should be.”

“The same formula?”

“What we have been discussing is like a plan, one that I have used to measure myself, and one that I have used to measure other people.  When people tell me they will do something, and they don’t, they are likely to experience my anger.  I have little patience with people so inclined.”  His face took on that same puzzled expression.  “Killian, I am talking about paying attention, staying focused, and following through.  To make this clearer, let’s take you.

“You have told me you pay attention, that taking notes in school helps you pay attention.  It helps me to this very day to do the same. 

"I would say the reason your grandfather has had the wonderful life that he has enjoyed is because he has paid attention, and yes, learned the importance of taking notes, that you have already learned at this early age.

“You don’t let distractions disturb your concentration, distractions that everyone encounters and can get in the way of what you are supposed to do.

“You stay focused, which is much harder than most people think, but once you make it a habit you can be no other way. 

“The combination of paying attention and staying focused makes following through to complete a task or assignment or what you have committed yourself to do all the more easy. 

“More people than I can count are bound to disappoint because they don’t follow through.  The reason is often if not always because they don’t pay attention or stay focused.  Do you see my point?”

“Grandpa, sometimes you make my head hurt.”