The Peripatetic Philosopher insists, We are not the enemy!

We are not the enemy

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.

© October 26, 2019

Ken Shelton writes:

Self Sacrificing Society.docx (28 KB)

Jim,

I love your insight: the more you do for others that they best do for themselves invariably weakens their resolve and diminishes them (and us) as persons.

I expanded on that idea today.

Ken Shelton, editor, agent, CEO
Executive Excellence, LLC

My response

KEN,

Critics in the future, should they show an interest, may wonder what kind of a Christian much less a Catholic I was in my day.  I have grown out of doctrinaire positions of both while confessing they have largely formed me.  I write about my disposition on matters of faith and morals, on self-love, on free will. Individualism, and many related subjects.

I’ve never been into traditional charity, self-sacrifice at the expense of one’s own health and well-being, never been into strong central government, never thought of the place of employment as the extended family, never had trouble saying “no” when it was most appropriate, never been a liberal although born into a poor family, have had nine years of formal education but never had one student loan or debt at the end of my education, never considered anything more important than being my own best friend.

One person has written that “conservatives” in the political spectrum are weak when Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln were conservatives.  I’m not saying conservatives or liberals are strong or weak, only different.  I’m not interested in persuading anyone how to think.  I’m just asking them to sort out their own troubled waters to their own satisfaction, and not bother their minds and hearts to convince me to think otherwise than the way I do, because quite frankly, that is a losing proposition. 

Journalism today is the new religion, even more autocratic and dogmatic than science as it has become.  When I came back from South Africa in 1969, Time Magazine had a cover story, WHAT WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT VIETNAM.  I wrote Time magazine a scathing letter, “Report the news, and let me make up my own mind what it means.”   Time wrote back, “But telling you want the news means is our job!”   

Fifty years later, that definition of journalism has won respect as all journalism seems to be leaning towards yellow journalism. 

The quote to which you expand in this piece is from “The Taboo Against Being Your own Best Friend” (1996).  

The book grew out of a published article in “The Reader’s Digest” (June 1993) with the first sentence of this piece, “To have a friend, you must be a friend, starting with yourself.”

What is a friend?

A friend is honest, trustworthy, candid and would never do or say anything harmful to that friend.  Why, then, are we so hard on ourselves, do everything to please others, often at our own expense, quickly forgive them for their flaws and transgressions, while showing a reluctance to forgive ourselves of our own?  Instead, we deny our self-animus and put on a front to suggest quite the contrary, which so easily can lead to self-estrangement.

Alas, we are consumed with “what,” which never changes anything.  For the past nearly 50 years my books and articles have been about “why.”  I write in “The Taboo”:

The Taboo deals with the adverse effects of social, cultural and psychological conditioning, which programs a person into giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, but one’s own self.  Those so afflicted worry about what others think and feel about them with a compulsive need to please others (a boss, teacher, colleague, mate) at the expense of what they think and feel about themselves.

Self-hate and societal hate have reached epidemic proportions with a clash of identities and cultures beyond what I have experienced in my long life.  I write in the Taboo:

We are all authors of our own footprints in the sand, heroes of the novels inscribed in our hearts.  Everyone’s life, without exception, is sacred, unique, scripted high drama, played out before an audience of one, with but one actor on stage.  The sooner we realize this the more quickly we overcome the bondage of loneliness and find true friendship with ourselves.

Be always well,

Jim

PS Incidentally, in “CONFIDENCE IN SUBTEXT” (2017), see Chapter 19: Just say, “No!”  The hardest word in the English language to say.