RESPONSE TO: GOD'S GREATEST CRUELTY?

RESPONSE TO: GOD’S GREATEST CRUELTY?

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.
© February 27, 2009

“Not for himself, but for the world he lives.”

The young Roman poet, Lucan (39 – 65 AD)

“True philosophy invents nothing; it merely establishes and describes, “what is.”

Victor Cousin (1792 – 1867), French philosopher


REFERENCE:

Many have responded to MY FAVORITE UNCLE, which dealt with the shock of learning of his Alzheimer’s disease. Dr. P responded by sharing his experience with Alzheimer’s. I replied by asking the rhetorical question: God’s greatest cruelty? This is a reaction to that comment.


A WRITER WRIES:

Hello Jim,

I wasn’t inclined to comment on such a personal story. There is no meaning in commentary disassociated from the experience. The note from P and your brief response led to the following thoughts.

“God’s greatest cruelty?” The crux of the matter is in the punctuation. Put a period or exclamation point after and the discussion takes on a very different tack and meaning.

Many of us have experienced first-hand or from a distance this degenerative curse. Few of us are so close to the person as to see it to an end. Most remember the early stages, or as we refer to them later – the signs. Physical degeneration brought about by cancer and heart disease doesn’t seem to trigger as deep emotions the way mental conditions do. The piece about the uncle demonstrates the personal struggle to accept the change.

One might be inclined to say “God’s greatest cruelty” is inflicted upon those who witness the decline, frustrated by the inability to impede its progress, confused by the mystery of a failing human system, and challenged by the demands of providing care for the afflicted. Or, it might be God’s greatest gift.

The oldest of five, I had two brothers with the most severe type of Muscular Dystrophy. Both parents worked. And, I was the main caretaker for those times they were away from home. I’m no saint. I was a child. I got angry at times, more often than I should have. But, I grew out of it quickly. I wanted time away from them to do things that boys like to do and found brief opportunities to do so. Adults would tsk tsk and comment about having a “cross to bear.” What does that mean? As a child, this is all I knew.

To bear a cross one has to know what an unburdened life is. This life situation is much like the fabled frog in boiling water. The need increases as time moves on, and it’s all relative. The incremental change is not noticed and the weight of that change is borne by the increasing strength gained from all that has gone before.
This may be why adult onset diseases inspire so much behavioral examination. There is a baseline reference.

We are programmed to believe that while we may physically fall below the baseline, there is solace in the knowledge we have gained and how it enables us to contribute to the elevation of young that follow.

Your friend P does what he can. And, the families, I’m sure, appreciate the break he offers from the constant attention and worry Alzheimer’s commands from those closest. Nature attempts in many ways to confront us with great cruelties in life. But, they are only cruel by our choosing.

That’s the beauty of nature. We choose the path believing our conscious choice is the best one. But nature has many surprises in store for us. What makes us special, as your story points out, is our reaction.

You like quotes. Remember John Lennon’s famous one? “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.”

Peace and wonder,

Michael

DR. FISHER RESPONDS:

Michael,

There is nothing that can be said about the care giving circumstances thrust upon you other than it made you the person I know you to be. Adversity more than advantage, it has been my experience, makes us what we are and can become. As you point out, this is personal and no one might ever know it except in the strength of character shown in other ways.

The wonder of this medium (Internet) is that we are all connected, and can express ourselves openly and honestly, which is not only useful in that connection, but is also good for the soul.

I was quite moved by Dr. P’s experience, and rushed off a note. At the time, I was waiting to take BB to the hospital for an exploratory examination and quite nervous. I am now writing this after that examination, and she is okay, thank God!

It is interesting about using a period, an exclamation point or a question mark. It does change the sense of the expression. I never thought of the period but I did think of the exclamation point, feeling that was not consistent with my mind at that moment. The question mark was right for me, but may not be right for someone reading this.

And yes, Michael, you are right. I do like a quotation here or there, as they succinctly tell us so much as does this one you quote by John Lennon. Incidentally, he’s been a favorite of mine for years with the following Lennon quote in my first book (CONFIDENT SELLING Prentice-Hall 1970):

“Everyone can be a success; if you keep saying that enough times to yourself you can be. We’re no better than anybody else. We’re all the same. We’re as good as Beethoven. Everyone’s the same inside. You need the desire and the right circumstances, but it’s nothing to do with talent or with training or education. You get primitive painters and writers don’t you? Nobody told them how to do it. They told themselves they could do it and just did it . . .” (pp 174 – 175).

Be always well,

Jim