How Well Do
You Know How Others See You?
JAMES
R. FISHER, JR., Ph.D.
(c)
September 6, 2017
In
the last missive on “Think Tanks,” some
people were mentioned as being engaged in discussions which was the equivalent
of an “Internet Think Tank” with The Peripatetic Philosopher. Cameo descriptions highlighted their particular
sui generis.
UNREVELING THE CORPORATE JUNGLE
Some
years ago, I was invited as consultant to discover why the executive staff of
this $50 million operation continued to lose business while operating costs persisted
to soar.
A
day was spent with the CEO including lunch at his club listening to a retinue
of frustrations with his command staff and their direct reports.
“I
want you to talk to these people and tell me what you think is the problem.”
This
consultant had heard this line so many times it felt as if stapled to his brain. For that reason, I said wearily, “My sense is
that will get you nowhere.”
The CEO gave the consultant a look of disappointment, which was not unexpected. “With due respect, sir, I suspect your people
will oblige by playing cover your ass games with me.”
He
laughed uproariously, taking off his glasses shining them vigorously with his
handkerchief then giving me another look.
“You don’t mince words, do you?”
This
was met with silence.
“You
might have something there,” he said finally.
Then with his glasses back on, he looked at me pensively, “What do you
propose?”
This
is where it gets tricky. It has been my
experience that no one has a more complex ego, fine sensitivity and engaged
intelligence than most CEOs combined with a high energy level. That said it is also likely that they have a
flawed understanding what is actually going on in the trenches, as they prefer
to see themselves above the fray and beyond the need for total personal
involvement. Commitment usually suffices
as fulfilling their role.
“Would
it be possible to schedule a two-day offsite with you and your executive staff
all participating in an intervention?”
“You
mean, me, too?”
Silence. Clearly, this was not expected.
“Why,
that would mean me and ten other people.”
Again,
silence. He got up from his chair at the
club and said he’d be back in a minute.
He returned twenty minutes later.
“We can do it the second week next month, how does that suit you?”
Before
saying, yes, to the offsite, I said, “Prior to that, I would like to conduct
extensive interviews with you and all your direct reports, interviews requiring
at least an hour with each person. Is
that possible?” Before he could answer, I
said, “And I would like the full use of your secretary during these sessions to
take notes.”
“Fine,
now are you going to tell me what this is all about?”
“I’m
not sure,” I confessed. “I’ll structure
it as we proceed deciding then how to best go forward as the process is never
the same. It has to be right for you and
your people and this situation.”
He
nodded massaging his jaw. “There’s a lot
of ifs to the way you operate, is that fair to say?” This was met with a smile. “Yet, you’re telling me you’re not sure what
will be achieved with this major commitment in time and money? Am I hearing you right?”
“Sir,
from what I’ve heard from you over the past several hours is that you are
heading for a train wreck, and everything you’ve done, including enlisting the
support of other consultants has changed nothing, is that correct?”
“Yes,
more or less. But you’re not promising
anything any better.”
“No,
I’m not. My interest, and I think the
reason you’ve hired me is that you know I have a reputation for dealing with
root causes, not symptoms, for identifying chronic problems interfering with
the work at hand. I’m not sure what
these are; nor am I certain what I propose will work, but I am confident those
issues will surface.”
Back
at the office, he introduced me to his secretary who seemed excited about doing
something a little different. She had no
idea how different it would be or how the corporate wilderness would start to unravel.
THE PROCESS
Once
the secretary joined me, and we were given a room to conduct our interviews,
she opened with a request. “Human
Resources would like to sit in on these interviews, is that possible?”
To
myself, I said, I’m sure HR would love
that! What if HR is the seat of the
problem? God! I didn’t need that! Instead, I said, “Since the Director of
Human Resources is one of the CEO’s direct reports that would be prejudicial,
don’t you think? Next engineering,
production and marketing, administration and public relations among others
would want to sit in on these proceedings.
Just tell HR that will not be necessary, okay?” To this explanation and request, she quietly agreed.
Then
I outlined the process including her role of taking notes – we weren’t allowed
to use a tape recorder and this was before the current electronic era – and
then helping me collate the product of these interviews.
Further,
I told her the interviews would be open ended and not structures although the focus
would always be on the salient attributes of the individual being discussed as well as his
association with his colleagues in that capacity.
In
the process, attributes, inclinations, biases, pet peeves and rational (and
irrational) peccadilloes are likely to surface in terms of:
1.
How
comfortable the interviewee feels with this member of the team;
2.
How
well other members of the team see this member;
3.
How
does the interviewee assess his competence;
4.
His
ability to share critical information in a timely fashion;
5.
How
territorial is this individual;
6.
What
the interviewee sees as the basic problem of the current operation;
7.
What
do team members do well (strengths);
8.
Where
do they need (weaknesses);
9.
Is
this team member a knower or a learner; a doer or a delegator;
10. How reliable (unreliable) and
dependable (undependable) is this team member vis-à-vis the interviewee’s
function;
11. Why does the interviewee feels this
way about the team member;
12. What the interviewee think causes
this behavior?
“To
a person,” the secretary chirped, “including my boss (the CEO) seemed to leave
the interviews in high spirits as if a major load had been lifted from them,
don’t you agree?”
“Why
do you imagine that was so since nothing changed?”
She
looked at me with a quizzical expression.
“I’m not sure I know. Remember,
they were talking largely about someone else.”
There was no point in telling her
that when people talk about others they invariably are largely talking about
themselves. It is a propensity that is
so obvious to the listener but seemingly never apparent to the talker. “What I do know is that what is felt
surfaces in this format. We have to see
whether it is relevant or not to the problem at hand as we create individual
profiles from these data.”
“Individual
profiles?”
“Yes,
now comes the hard work of assessing, classifying and collating these 121 (11x11)
separate individual assessments. The
amazing thing – as I’ve seen before – is that 80 percent of these assessments
will show remarkable agreement, proving mainly irrelevant but nonetheless
superficially reliable. It is the 20
percent where perceptive data resides.”
“You’ve
got me totally confused. I don’t
follow.”
“Ever
notice that when people have been under pressure – say these interviews – and
then relax thinking the interview is over the pressure is off, and they make a Freudian slip or a slip of the tongue saying something perhaps unconsciously under
wraps? That truth rises out of the
subconscious; that is where the 20 percent resides.”
She
gave this explanation, an, "Oh yeah!"
“Your
CEO said we could take as much time as necessary to distill these data. I hope to get this done in a day, but it may
take longer. In any case, I have your
services until we have eleven profiles including one of your boss, are you okay
with this?”
“Yes,
I suppose you want a rough draft typed up of all their comments first?”
I
nodded.
“That
will take some time.”
“I
know. I’ll be reading your work as you
do each assessment. You’ll see it will
go pretty fast.
“In
the process, we will be looking for consistent patterns for each individual. We will initially include all the angst,
hatred, biases, pet peeves, envies, jealousies and even hostilities towards other
members along with those with faint praise.”
“Such
as?”
“Instead
of calling a colleague a liar, the person may be said to stretch the truth to
his own satisfaction; instead of saying the person is an ass, he might be
described as someone who punishes you with his knowledge in nonuser friendly
terms; instead of saying the person isn’t reliable, he may be described as
loyal first and only to himself, implying loyalty to the company is not a
priority; instead of saying a person is difficult to work with, the person is
said to have his own private agenda; instead of saying the person is dull and just
this side of stupid, the person is described as being out to lunch at crunch
time; instead of say….”
“I
think I get your point. Are you saying
people never say what they think about another person?”
“No,
I'm saying they rarely do. That is
partially because they are not actually that interested in another person's views, only in terms of that person's views as they relate to them.”
“That
is horrible.”
“No,
that is how we are programmed. It is the
reason people talk in code. They see you
taking notes and their natural self-protection kicks in.”
“But
you're saying decoding is possible?”
“Oh,
yes! It is not only possible; it is
necessary. To understand the code we
must first crack it, and that is possible by carefully perusing these
data. People working together over time
come to unconsciously reify the same code.
None of these people has been less than five years in his present
position, ample time to be reprogrammed to a common code.”
“Then
what?” she said in exasperation.
“Then
I’ll look at those attributions that you have typed up for each member of the
team, reduce them to twenty or thirty; then collate them again, reducing them
further, then give you three group versions of the profiles that will differ
slightly and discuss them with you.
“You
know these people on a day-to-day basis.
If you feel any of the profiles are misrepresentative or misleading as
to the core identity of that individual, I would like your input. I will take notes and use them in my final
consideration.”
“Then
what?” she said again.
“Then
I’ll come back to you with eleven profiles each with eleven or so specific bullets
that will be highlighted on flip chart paper with the name of the person
profiled on the back of the chart.
“We
will then paste these profiles on the walls of the conference room, and invite
the participants to come in and view these profiles and pick the one that
closest fits what they perceive to be their profile taking as much time as
necessary.
“The
charts will be numbered 1 to 11. They
will turn that number into you as their chart without having to take it down
from the wall.
“You
will then give me these names and numbers and I will compare them with the names
behind the charts.”
“Any
idea how this will turn out?”
“No,
not really, but I have a hunch but only a hunch.”
“Will
you tell me?”
“I’ll
do one better. I’ll let you participate
in the mystery by having you identify what chart belongs to what member of the
team. I will tell you beforehand how
many you got right. And I’ll tell you this
before I tell the seated group of the results.”
REVELATIONS & RAPPROCHEMENT
The
secretary smiled and shook her head when I revealed the process. Later, when all eleven profiles were on the
conference wall, she walked around and marked on a slip of paper her
choices. She got them all right.
The
reaction of the group when they saw these eleven profiles on the wall was
however shuddering silence. They, too,
walked around and chose by number the one that they thought best suited them as
they saw themselves. Not a single person chose his own profile
including the CEO.
They
wanted to immediately rip their respective profiles from the wall without any
discussion as they were truly incensed and embarrassed if not more than a
little angry. The profiles were written
in rather innocuous language while clearly suggesting certain attributes that
got beyond content and context of character to their subtext nature as
perceived by others.
Since
this was anticipated, if more than a bit risky, I asked them one question: “Why
do you suppose you did not choose your own profile?”
With
the exception of the CEO, they looked at me with folded arms across their
chests. The CEO smiled expansively, “Because
you don’t apparently expect to get paid for this.” This broke the tension, as they all laughed,
knowing the CEO failed to pick his own profile.
Then the CEO added, seriously, “Let’s take a pause, and listen to the
man to what all this means.”
After
a period of kibitzing with each other to let off steam, someone said, “Dr.
Fisher, you’ve got to admit this is quite unusual.”
“Quite
to the contrary,” I insisted, “these results are not unusual at all. They suggest just how difficult it is for us
to see and understand ourselves as others see and know us, especially the
people we work with every day.
“We
don’t realize there are many artificial barriers that we unconsciously erect
between us. It is hard work to listen when
we are trained primarily as talkers. We
assume to know what another person thinks and means when we interpret this only
in the way we think and feel about a given situation. Consequently, we talk over rather than to each
other, assuming they know what we know think what we think and identify
problems as we have identified them.”
My
premise was challenged by some, defended by others, which led to a lively
discussion in which I retired to the sidelines and listened to the eleven members
of this Command Staff verify their profiles.
It
would have proven dramatic if the session had been televised but my sense
counterproductive as even visual evidence can be as readily denied as verbal.
Since
none of the profiles were especially flattering to anyone, and given the
consensus, after much discussion, that they had some validity, the state of the
discussion was essentially cordial and in good humor largely because of the
lead of the CEO. In the final afternoon
session, the CEO took over asking the ten what first steps might be taken for getting
everyone on the same page.
The
secretary stayed but my work was done. I
received a note from the CEO months later that “his team” had changed with only
four of the original ten remaining on his command staff, but that things were
working smoothly. No mention was made of
the intervention or of the profiles.
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