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Sunday, March 03, 2019

The Peripatetic Philosopher shares a Tutorial on Being Your Own Psychologist

   
THE WISDOM OF BEING YOUR OWN PSYCHOLOGIST

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.
© March 1, 2019

“We have had the Esthetic Greek Man, the Pragmatic Roman Man, the Guilty Christian Man, the Searching Scientific man.  Today’s model is the believer in the Unconscious, the Self-Conscious Psychological Man.”

Martin L. Gross, The Psychological Society (1978)


A CLOSER LOOK AT THE PRACTITIONERS OF THIS AND RELATED ART FORMS

When I completed my Ph.D. in social, organizational and industrial psychology, a colleague of mine, a clinical psychologist, asked me to join her practice.  “But I have no training as a clinician,” I protested.  She waved her hand dismissively, “You’re a good listener.  That’s all it takes.”

I thought that somewhat apocryphal until (over the years) I’ve learned more about psychotherapy and its practitioners.   

A former professor of mine at the University of South Florida, now emeritus, Dr. Billy G. Gunter, developed a theory he called “Ambient Deficiency Motivation.” Gunter claims many of us are attracted, not to our strengths, but to our gnawing debilitating weaknesses when it comes to career choices.

In Anne C. Heller’s biography Ayn Rand, And the World She Made (2009), we learn how this applies to the Russian American émigré who first became a novelist, then philosopher, psychologist and economist of note. 

Rand wrote two compelling novels, The Fountainhead (1943) and Atlas Shrugged (1957)).  In the first, she argued the case for unabashed individualism, and in the second, the enthralling wonders of capitalism.  From this, she developed a systematic philosophy known as “Objectivism.” 

Her defense of radical individualism and of selfishness as a capitalistic virtue won her scores of contemporary public champions.  These include: former SEC Chairman Christopher Cox, Congressman Ron Paul (the father of the current Kentucky US Senator with the first name, Rand), the Libertarian founder John Hospers, The Wall Street Journal editorial writer Stephen Moore, the economist Alan Greenspan, Chairman of the Federal Reserve in the Reagan administration and Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers in the Ford administration, and even the news commentator Chris Matthews of MSNBC and CNN, and former chief aid to liberal Congressman  and Speaker of the House, Tip O’Neil.

Ayn Rand’s ideas dominated the political conversation in the 1950s through the 1970s.  Born in 1905, before the First World War (1914-1918), she was an impressionistic youth during the Russian Bolshevik Revolution (1917-1918).  Once in the United States at the age of twenty-five, however, she turned her fear and hatred of communism, and everything Russian, into art. 

More than one critic has pointed out that the engine of Rand’s soul was fear not rationalism, the absolute dictums of her Objectivist philosophy, and an irrational escape from her roots.  The irony is that the more she attempted to put Russia behind her, the clearer the evidence she had never left. Ayn Rand, incidentally, was an invented name.

Beware of taking movers and shakers at face value, whatever their discipline, for lurking behind that agenda and prominence likely on display are aspects of Dr. Billy G. Gunter’s “Ambient Deficiency Motivation.”

Several prominent notables in psychotherapy and behavioral therapy come to mind who have made an imprint on our psychological society in this rather twisted context.  To put this in perspective, during the confusing days of the 1970s, when the Hippies and Yuppies were looking to avoid the Selective Service Draft and military service in the Vietnam War, saviors of the delicate American psyche were coming out of the woodwork. 

There was “est” or Erhard Seminar Training, a “new age” rage to justify puerile angst and petty rebellionIt took hold on the fad conscious West Coast of the United States.  Through the mid-20th century, California proved a fertile landscape for painless escape from pressing social and cultural stressors.  Consistent with this ambience was the creator of “est,” a man new to the locale with a new name and identity running free of personal demands left behind.    

He was born John Paul Rosenberg (1935), changed his name to Werner Hans Erhard, leaving a wife and four children behind in Ohio to give purpose and identity to hapless movie stars, celebrities, drop outs, and the disgruntled who simply felt lost.  The “est” craze flourished from 1971 to 1985 and then died without fanfare. 

“Erik Erikson” was born Erik Salomonsen (1902 – 1994) in Germany.  His name was changed officially to Erik Homburger when his stepfather adopted him in 1911.  His name would be changed again to Erik Erikson when he took a position in the United States at Yale University.

Erik Erikson was a tall blue-eyed man who had been raised in the Jewish faith but was said to look gentile.  Anna Freud, the daughter of Sigmund Freud, who was continuing her father’s work at the Vienna Psychoanalytic Institute, hired him “because he was good with children.”

It would not come out for many years that Erik Erikson and Anna Freud had only high school diplomas, and no academic training whatsoever beyond that of the Institute.

This lack of academic credentials proved no handicap to Erik Erikson once in the United States with a prestigious teaching position first at Yale, and then subsequently at the University of California at Berkeley.  He was accepted without credentials not only by these institutions but by many notable academics such as Margaret Mead, Gregory Bateson and Ruth Benedict. 

Erikson would go on to win a Pulitzer and National Book Award.  Ironically, this man of multiple identities is most famous for coining the phrase “identity crisis.” 

In the December 1999 issue of The Atlantic Monthly, Erik Erikson’s daughter, who was in crisis and felt suicidal, penned an article in this periodical in which she complained that only her mother’s healing therapeutic counsel and understanding saved her as her famous father “was not available.” 

Perhaps more mystifying but equally fascinating is that of the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung (1875 – 1961).  Jung is celebrated for his psychological archetypes, theories on the collective unconscious, his mystic symbolism, and his uncovering of the nature of the human psyche. 

It would appear that he preferred the mystical pursuit of the human soul more than the mundane practice of psychotherapy.  For example, he totally botched the treatment of the emotionally troubled Lucia Joyce, daughter of Irish novelist James Joyce (see “Lucia Joyce, To Dance in the Wake,” by Carol Loeb Shloss, 2003).  

Others have explored Jung’s mystique and strange predilections including his somewhat double life in Jeb Rubernfeld’s novel, “The Death Instinct” (2010), and Richard Noll’s “The Jung Cult” (1994) and “The Aryan Christ: The Secret Life of Carl Jung” (1997) as well as Deirdre Bair’s “Jung, A Biography” (2003).  

Famous people in the sciences as well as the arts aren’t necessarily what they seem or one might believe them to be.  

Take the strange case of psychotherapist Bruno Bettelheim (1903 – 1990), known as “Dr. B,” who was regarded by the public at large to be one of the world’s most important psychoanalysts, a Vienna intellectual and “one of Freud’s few genuine heirs to his science.”

The truth, however, is that Dr. B was a lumber dealer who grandly reinvented himself with a fake set of academic credentials after emigrating to the United States in 1939.  The University of Chicago hired him and placed him at the head of its Orthogenic School for Emotionally Disturbed Children which he ran for three decades.  He treated these children diagnosed to be suffering from schizophrenia or autism with therapies shaped by bogus statistics generating pseudonymous case histories to enhance his security and reputation. 

More incredible, Bettelheim wrote several bestselling books including The Uses of Enchantment (1976) applying Freudian psychology to fairy tales, and won the 1976 National Book Critics Circle Award for Criticism and the 1977 National Book Award in the Category of Contemporary Thought

Suffering poor health with mounting questions about the validity of his therapeutic practices, he took his own life by suffocating himself placing his head in a plastic bag (see “The Creation of Dr. B” by Richard Pollack, 1997; and “Bettelheim: A Life and a Legacy” by Nina Sutton, 1997).

Closer to home, we have Phil McGraw who holds a doctorate in psychology, but is not a licensed clinical psychologist nor certified to practice as a clinician. 

Strangely, this protects him from litigation in a way not available to practicing clinicians.  He can therefore pontificate psychological and behavioral solutions to his television guests with immunity as “Dr. Phil,” for his role is regarded as that of an entertainer who, incidentally, earns in the neighborhood of $80 million a year while clinicians make only a tiny fraction of that sum. 

Phil McGraw’s Ph.D. dissertation was “Rheumatoid Arthritis: A Psychological Invention.”  In other words, he argued that this illness is primarily psychosomatic which has much in common with his current role.

Alas, “Dr. Phil” can dispense psychological advice to his troubled guests whom he sees within the hour, sending them off with happy faces while millions of addictive viewers are anxious to “tune in again tomorrow” for more of the same.  Nothing changes!

How does he get away with this?  Better yet, why does he do it?  The obvious answer: “for the money!”  But perhaps closer to the truth is that “Dr. Phil” fulfills a real need.

Are people that vulnerable to the belief that a stranger on television is key to their health and happiness?  You bet they are!  The evidence?  80 million dollars!

During the “Sexual Revolution” of the 1960s and 1970s, Masters & Johnson came on the scene with their “sexual therapy.”  William Masters and Virginia Johnson had no training in psychotherapy or any other type of therapy.  Masters was a gynecologist with an M.D. degree, while Johnson had only a high school diploma with no training in medicine much less psychotherapy.  Among their claims were success with impotency, changing homosexuals into heterosexuals, and an assortment of other psychosexual hang-ups, only to have their “research” methodology questioned later and discounted for errors and false claims. 

You may ask, if such professional counseling is only a self-indulgent luxury and not a necessity, what is your point? 

My point, and this will be more evident as you read on, what we all need is to have someone to talk to; someone who will tell us we are all right; that we belong; that our motives are sensible and that we don’t have to apologize for our occasional mental lapses in judgment or feel guilty for our tangled sometimes ridiculous lives – in other words, we need someone to listen to us.  Since most people are too busy and preoccupied in their own lives to listen, we are willing to pay for that service. 

Once the neighborhood minister, priest or Imam fulfilled that function without charge, unobtrusively, confidentially and effectively, but alas, that service and that role has largely faded into the mist.  

Many reading this have never sought professional help finding solace instead with a brother or sister, a best friend or acquaintance, mother or father, husband or wife, colleague at work or teammate in sport, a classmate in school or a fellow parishioner at church or some other social group. 

[When I was a global executive, I traveled a lot by plane across four continents.  Invariably, the person next to me would unburden his soul as if I were his confessor.  More than once, the stranger said upon landing: “Thank you for all your advice.  I can’t thank you enough,” when I hardly said a word during the entire flight, only listening.  I’ve often thought of writing a small book about these conversations, but haven’t because they were given in confidence as if I were, for the moment, their priest and, indeed, their confessor.]

We live in an obsessively compulsive “Psychological Society” and in a psychotherapeutic culture.  Our world has been psychologized in direct proportion to our failure to be good listeners to each other, creating a culture of paid listeners practicing pediatric therapy to adolescent therapy, and at the other end of our lives, geriatric therapy.  

But are these times so terrible that we need all this professional attention?  Psychologist Bernie Zibergeld writes:

There is not a shred of evidence that we are under more psychological stress than were our ancestors.  Until recently, the masses of people suffered the daily stress of not knowing if there was going to be enough food to eat and they also had to deal with the possibility of infectious diseases, now largely conquered, that could wipe out a significant portion of the population in a few months.  Nuclear weapons are new, but the threat of annihilation has been with mankind since the beginning.  There is also no evidence of an increase in the incidence of serious emotional disorder since the advent of advanced industrialization.  The best studies have failed to discover such a pattern of growth.  To be sure, we talk more about our problems and seek help more often, but that is not the same as an increase in the number or severity of problems.  The only sense in which it can be said that the number of problems has increased is that we now busily label as problems everything that limits and frustrates us.  

THE SEEDS OF THE TANGLED WEB OF OUR IMAGINED PSYCHOLOGICAL CRISIS

We are in an era when the only thing that seems to interest us is what is happening “now!”  Historians, sociologists and anthropologists write books about the phenomenon that only they and their students seemingly read.  That does not hide the fact we are in a ninety year Post Great Depression swoon which we are unable to overcome. 

In 1930, most African American families, then known as Negroes, were with two parents in stable and relatively happy homes despite the incipient collapsing economy of the times.  There was no drug culture, per se, except for isolated pockets of society occupied mainly by movie stars, musicians and other entertainers. 

Children went to school and were boxed on the ears by teachers if they misbehaved.  If they cheated on tests or were caught in nefarious behavior, they would be sent to the principal, disciplined and sometimes expelled.   If they stole from other students or were caught in bullying tactics, they could be sent off to reform school, which in those days was the equivalent of a prison for teenagers. 

The majority of America’s workers were unskilled and under educated doing menial jobs working paycheck to paycheck but still finding a way to survive with family support.  They had not yet assumed that the government or their employer was expected to bail them out of their misery. 

Self-reliance was part of the collective American DNA with the required pride to take care of oneself and one’s family.  Everything changed in the early 1930s. 

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt became President of the United States.  It was a time when the world was in freefall with capitalism on trial.  Many leaders of the United States and Europe were intrigued with the ideas of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels and their Communist Manifesto of 1848.  This philosophy was then reinterpreted by Lenin and Trotsky to lead to the Russian Bolshevik Revolution of 1917, which successfully turned Russia into a communist state.

FDR, as the president was known, virtually turned the United States into effectively a socialistic state to combat the threat of Communism and save the nation with several executive orders circumventing the constitutional role of the United States Congress.  In the process, he gradually changed the nation’s character, mindset and approach to its economic, political and social problems.

Obviously, this was a popular move as President Roosevelt was elected to four consecutive four-year terms, dying shortly after the fourth election. 

At the same time, his actions, although well intended, stole the initiative from ordinary Americans to fend for themselves with the same self-reliant vigor that once had been characteristic of the American spirit since as colonists they won independence from Great Britain in 1776. 

Despite the radical change in American politics or the popularity of a sitting president, FDR’s actions did not rescue the nation from the Great Depression, or the Western world from communism.  World War Two did.

Still, once the die was cast, once people expected something for nothing, once the war was over, and control of their lives no longer their primary responsibility, with the heady and bizarre economic boom that followed that war, the nation lost its identity, its moral compass and its way. 

Industry and government couldn’t do enough for Americans, that is, as long as they surrendered control of their lives and what they did for a living.  Workers handed that control over to their employers and subsequently the government to manage their well-being.  The same occurred in Europe in a slightly different manner.

It was a trust issue that worked as long as the United States was prosperous, fiscally solvent and stable economically.  Post-World War Two gave birth to another entity, “corporate management.” 

Corporate management was distinct from corporate oligarchs as these managers were not owners, but employees like everyone else.  They came to see themselves, however, as owners and acted the part so convincingly that workers came to buy into their imagination of reality, failing to act or to protest in any way when these managers paid themselves 10, 20, 100 to several hundred times what the worker in the trenches made for an hour’s work.  

Alas, taking a thesis from the Good Book, corporate management successfully promulgated the idea that they were indispensable and the infallible authority of the organization.

If you think this an exaggeration, should you violate the chain-of-command to seek answers above your direct report, you were not excommunicated.  You were censured, demoted or fired!      

When the Baby Boomer Generation, children born after 1945, came on the scene parents had already ceased to be parents.  They were obsequiously cowering to the management at their place of employment.  Baby Boomers were forced, as a consequence, to be their own parents.   Mother and fathers were working or partying all the time to ride the boom for all it was worth.  Meanwhile, Baby Boomers successfully programmed themselves to have everything and anything “now!” 

Planning for the future became redundant as did delayed gratification.  Happiness was defined in terms of having Baby Boomers, now as parents, wanting to outdo each other, giving birth to the “spoiled brat generation” that followed, and then the “Me” generation and on to the present millennials and centennials.

This has spawned cumulatively the “Culture of Narcissism” and the whimpering self-indulgent solipsism of today’s “Psychological Society.”

Far from finding fulfillment or happiness, many have walked into the “Chamber of Horrors” where fear and anxiety, self-contempt and self-disgust reside, retreating instead into alcoholism, drug addiction, workaholism, promiscuity, exhibitionism, crime and suicide, or simply dropping out of school or the workforce waiting for society to come to the rescue.

They say collectively that “life sucks” and blame society for the discomfiture when they are society.  It is a “catch 22” situation: failure to find purpose in life and reasons for being, they look to be rescued by a society that is equally lost. 

Of course, who do they blame for their plight?  They blame parents, siblings, relatives, friends, classmates, teachers, coaches, the church, the school, the government, religion, God, authority figures, and the times. They are locked in forward inertia spinning their wheels and going nowhere. 

They have no sense that this counter dependence and lack of self-regard and self-initiative was seeded a long time ago in a time known as “The Great Depression.”   

Thanks to Sigmund Freud in his psychotherapy, and other psychologists, ethologists and neurologists we are not responsible for the way we are.  These dedicated scientists explain away our symptoms or propose self-esteem, hierarchies of needs or other mantra to assuage our discomfort, while sociologists on their part explain reasons for our mood swings, labeling them to create yet another escape industry. 

Academic analyses and carefully researched remedies fail to take us off the hook of our dysfunctional propensities.  Why?  Because they have no answers.  They too are stumbling in the dark and part of the same problem.  They treat us as a species apart, statistical numbers or sagittal samples viewed in petri dishes under the microscope and not as flesh and blood holistic functional and vulnerable human beings. 

Life has become impersonal and the best indication is when someone claims to have a thousand “friends” on Facebook.  If one is lucky, a person has three good and trusted friends in a lifetime.  

ENTER DR. THOMAS SZASZ INTO THE FRAY

Psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Szasz sent shock waves through his community in 1961 with his book “The Myth of Mental Illness.”  The Hungarian born American doctor lived to be 92, dying in 2012, but was largely treated during his long medical career as a “gadfly,” which means not to be taken seriously.  While admitting there is such a thing as brain disease and brain defects, Szasz does not see mental illness as a disease.  He writes:

“Disease cannot be cured by conversation.  What so many doctors call mental illness is human conflict expressed in ways society cannot live with.”

In his book “Second Sin” (1973), the First Sin being knowledge of good and evil, the Second Sin being the knowledge of clear speech, he writes:

If a man says he is talking to God, we say he is praying.  If he says God is talking to him we say he is a schizophrenic.

Treating addiction to heroin with methadone is like treating addiction to Scotch with bourbon.

Mental hospitals are the POW camps of our undeclared war and unarticulated civil wars.

There are two very different kinds of psychiatry, voluntary and involuntary.  The difference is at least as important as the difference between psychotherapy and organic therapy.  I consider all involuntary psychiatry to be punishment.  The physician should be a healer not a jailer. 

I object to only two things.  First, I object to any and all involuntary psychiatry; to any kind of psychiatric measure that’s imposed on a person against his will.  Second, I object to the widespread mislabeling in psychiatry, whether it is voluntary or involuntary psychiatry, that is, calling personal problems “diseases,” calling prisons “hospitals,” calling conversation, “treatment.” 

We have already forgotten what doctors did in Nazi Germany, and we don’t want to know what they did in Communist Russia.  We thus persecute millions as drug addicts, homosexuals, suicide risks, all the while congratulating ourselves that we are great healers curing them of mental illness.

Elsewhere, he has written about the symbiotic relationship between psychiatry and the state:

This is a complicated matter.  As the prestige and popularity of organized religion diminished, following the Enlightenment, medicine took over many of the functions formerly performed by the churches.  Physicians became the new priesthood who have played the roles of priests.  They are our secular and scientific priests.       

I am personally opposed to electroshock treatment.  It’s a barbarity.  I have never used it and never would.  I wouldn’t dream of recommending it.  If someone asked me about it, I would point out that neurologists go to great lengths trying to prevent seizures in persons who have epilepsy,
because every time a person has a grand mal seizure, his brain gets damaged. 

Nevertheless, psychiatrists claim that giving someone a seizure is a form of treatment.  But then the history of medicine is full of instances of so-called cures that were actually harmful.  You know the old saying, “The cure is worse than the disease.”  It applies to a lot of things psychiatrists do – electroshock, lobotomy, often the use of drugs, and sometimes even psychotherapy or psychoanalysis.

THE POSTMODERN HUMAN ZOO EXPOSED

Author Francis Fukuyama in “Identity” (2018) insists that a sense of individualism is essential to the well-being of us as persons, along with a sense of recognition, appreciation, and sense of worth. 

But the irony is that identity, which is an internal monitoring device and the engine to our motivation has been nullified by our overwhelming preoccupation with being “other-directed” rather than “self-directed,” imitating, emulating, comparing and competing with those we esteem, while we become increasingly self-estranged to the point that we don’t know ourselves very well if at all. 

This finds us anxious if not terrified to be alone only with ourselves, or to find ourselves temporarily in a climate of silence with a total absence of noise.  

In such a situation, we are apt to be close to panic with a feeling of being neglected and excluded from the company of others.  Why?  Being left alone, unoccupied and unstimulated, cut off from the outside world if only for a short time is for many tantamount to being abandoned.     

Alas!  The wonder of iPhones and other electronic devices have come to the rescue.  These inventors couldn’t have chosen a more propitious time although they were actually trying to create electronic video games for those addicted to this form of escape.  Now, escapism has become the modus operandi cultural poverty breaker.  The evidence?

Persons below the poverty line, who lack the wherewithal to conduct healthy lives, not only are likely to have cell phones, but their children as young as five or six as well.  How is that possible?  Necessity is the mother of motivation.

Electronic manufacturers and advertisers know this well.  These electronics have become the 21st century’s ultimate pacifier with society showing little need or intent to grow up much less take charge.  These devices are the new opium of the masses, an approvable escape into wonderland. 

Not only Western society, but societies across the globe have caught the fever, which is a flight from the reality of imagination into the imagination of reality.  Dr. Thomas Szasz’s “Second Sin” message still rings relevant. 

Physicians, psychiatrists and psychotherapists know that patients today cannot stand discomfort, pain, failure, success, struggle, loneliness, depression, anxiety, or exclusion, so they designate stressors of life as “diseases,” and propose pharmaceuticals and “talking cures” as remedies.    

People don’t get better for all this attention, but have become more dependent on these pacifiers.  It has resulted in the society we have today.

Electronics have become necessities as well as “toys of the mind” and the new “social media” religion.    Manufacturers of these devices treat what is legal with the same broad brush as what is ethical.  Not surprisingly, manufacturers are constantly in litigation or caught in some scandal.

Facebook, alone, has nearly two billion participants who give new meaning to passive aggression and approach avoidance behavior.  Twitter adds the bizarre to it with its voiceless contributors and surrogate newsmakers, its faceless hackers and unprincipled troublemakers who have too much time on their hands.  

[As this was being written, Tampa Florida’s Police Department was investigating how Tampa’s Mayor Bob Buckhorn's Twitter account had been hacked posting racist tweets and pornographic messages. Among the tweets was one threatening the City of Tampa staff, Tampa International Airport and the Tampa Veteran Administrations offices (February 21, 2019).]

It may change in the future when participants grow up and take control of this new medium.  Meanwhile, the chatter is mainly white noise with many users spreading veiled threats, hatred and evil

On another front, we still arrest and prosecute drug dealers when the biggest drug dealers, the pharmaceutical industry and the medical profession, receive essentially a free pass or a slap on the wrists for dispensing mind altering prescriptions in a rather cavalier fashion.

Meanwhile, people in the limelight, many career politicians or lobbyists play to the social media and the cable and network television audience to promulgate polarizing policies or to make divisive pronouncements.  Is it any wonder that gridlock has taken hold of the United States Congress or that this is the “Age of the Absurd”?     

THE FALLACY OF PSYCHOTHERAPY RESEARCH – THE PLACEBO EFFECT

There are nearly 110,000 psychotherapists in the United States today with nearly 60 million Americans in regular psychotherapy.  Since Americans spend so much for this treatment, it should not be surprising that the majority claim the therapy beneficial. 

This is however misleading.  The therapy movement has been driving traditional values to the curb for decades while successfully forwarding its own postmodernism therapeutic worldview.

That said, people don’t talk much about Sigmund Freud today, but the “Father of Psychoanalysis” remains a real presence in the psychotherapy of this “talking cure,” as the therapy fills the void left by the decline of religion and members of the cloth who once were primary dispensers of such care. 

Yet, given this development, how effective is psychotherapy?

Studies comparing behavioral therapy and psychoanalytical therapy have proved interesting.  Conducted by highly experienced therapists, roughly 90 percent of the behavioral therapy clients and 80 percent of the psychotherapy clients show improvement on a scale of overall adjustment.  This looks impressive until you compare these results with the control group which consistently measures an 80 percent improvement on a scale of overall adjustment as well (“The Shrinking of America,” p. 125). 

The control group, incidentally, involves people who don’t receive the therapy but who have similar problems to those receiving the treatment.

Study after study conducted in this manner fail to demonstrate statistical significance with the control group.  This is “the placebo effect” produced by a placebo procedure (in this case a therapeutic treatment) in which the results cannot be attributed to the properties of the placebo itself, and therefore must be due to the patient’s belief in the treatment.   Thus, the positive results of the treatment are considered “the placebo effect.”   

Consequently, when it comes to the efficacy of the therapeutic benefit of therapy, there is vast disagreement on what are the beneficial elements to such treatment.  Too often therapists believe changing behavior rather than gaining an understanding of the client as a person is more important than what is happening and why. 

You flunked out of school; were fired from your job; you can’t hang on to gainful employment; your wife (husband) has left you; your teeth are falling out, but you can’t stop smoking; your friends won’t hang out with you anymore; your children are driving you crazy; your husband won’t work; your wife is never home; nobody listens to you; you have an eating, spending, gambling, or other secret disorder you can’t talk about; you’re dying inside but nobody cares.

Exhausted, at wits end, with nothing making any sense to you anymore, you rush into therapy, pay a stranger with credentials for what is wrong with you in the belief that therapy is the answer to your dilemma when what you receive in treatment is a new vocabulary to master as to what is wrong with you and why.

Dr. Thomas Szasz would say, “Loosen up, you’re just experiencing the normal conflicts of life.  Your best therapist is a friend who knows and understands the person that you are.”  

That person, however, cannot solve your quandary.  Only you can do that.  But by talking to this friend, whom you trust, that deep down terrible pain causing you such heartache may gradually surface as Dr. Szasz suggests.  Once no longer remote or buried in your psyche, disturbances are far less intimidating.  This is an introduction to yourself as a person who has confronted his disturbances to deal with them and get on with your life. 

[A person of whom I had not seen since my youth, dropped by out of the blue.  He told me he flunked out of college in his freshman year, then went into the US Army, came out of it and labored as a construction worker for a few years, took some junior college courses, then asked his university if he could return, now that he had found purpose in life.  The registrar of his university was impressed with his candor and allowed him to re-register.  Now in his late twenties, he went on to become a scholar, claiming to having received only two “B’s” on his way through his master’s and doctorate studies in plant physiology to earn his Ph.D.  Once out of the university, he became a professor writing a textbook and doing scientific work.  It was obvious he delighted in looking back and sharing his productive life with me these many years later.]  

German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 – 1860) points out that when you reach an advanced age and look back over your lifetime, it can seem to have had a consistent order and plan, as though composed by some novelist.  Events that when they occurred had seemed accidental and of little moment turn out to have been indispensable factors in the composition of a consistent plot.  So who composed the plot?  Schopenhauer suggests that just as your dreams are composed by an aspect of yourself of which your consciousness is unaware, so, too, your whole life is composed by the will within in you. 

Nothing in life is written in concrete.  Nothing is final or absolute in the ups and downs, successes and failures, peaks and valleys of an ordinary life.  Why?  Because this is but the rhythm of life.  When you talk with a friend, and the friend listens, the nature of your problems come to be defined and prioritized with clarity.  Over time, that clarity improves as conversations take on form and develop substance.  Eventually, if sincere and mature, you will choose to act in your own best interest. 

Not only will your situation improve, but you will be more of a mind to listen to someone else who needs help to climb over the obstacles holding him back, obstacles now treated as if the grandest of mountains.

Psychologist Carl Rogers has been ahead of this charge.  His “client-centered” therapy was a reaction against analysis while the aim of his therapy was not to solve a client’s particular problem but to assist the individual to grow and mature.

Among other things, this means that the person in pain must come to understand that he is the cause rather than the effect of his experience.  Once the cause is clear the effect can ultimately be dispatched, not immediately, but with due diligence.

Meanwhile, this is not an attempt to convert the masses who believe in behavioral and psychotherapy.  On the contrary, it expresses the benefits I have enjoyed in my long life from friends listening to me and therefore helping me to liberate myself from the ties that bind.  That said, there appears little unity among therapists.  Take the assessment of the eminent psychotherapist Carl Rogers:

Therapists are not in agreement as to their goals or aims . . . They are not in agreement as to what constitutes a successful outcome of their work.  They cannot agree as to what constitutes a failure.  It seems as though the field is completely chaotic and divided.

So, while the wisdom of being your own psychotherapist may be a road less traveled, it could be the road that leads back to becoming your own best friend.    


  

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