OFFER WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED

This is an offer to read CONFIDENCE IN SUBTEXT completely free.  All you have to do is request the book by through your e-mail address.  If not interested, that is okay, too.  What follows is the Introduction of the book.

 Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION – You deserve to be self-confident!

PART ONE 
CULTURAL DOMAIN

ONE – It’s Hard to be Confident When Our Culture Makes us Feel Otherwise!

TWO – A Counterintuitive Idea: Please-Self in a Culture of Self-Deprecation

THREE – Cage of Human Inattention as a Closed System FOUR – The Subtext of Life & Its Meaning!

FIVE – When the Incidental becomes the Accidental becomes the Norm, then there is No Place for Self-Confidence!

SIX – Continuity/Discontinuity: A Mind Self-Ignorant of Itself!

PART TWO  
PSYCHOLOGICAL DOMAIN

SEVEN – Confidence & The Most Important Sale !

EIGHT – The Secret Language of Relationships

NINE – Self-Realization & Self-Defeat!

TEN – The Dissembling Nature of Identity & Its Costs

ELEVEN – Understanding Others

TWELVE – Be Your Own Best Friend!

THIRTEEN – The Palliative to Anxiety

FOURTEEN – Is it More Important to be Love or Respected?

 FIFTEEN – Confidence, Coping & Culpability

 SIXTEEN – The Confluence of Essence & Personality 

SEVENTEEN – Who are You, Where are You, Right Now?

EIGHTEEN – If it doesn’t start early, chances are One’s Identity will be like riding a Roller Coaster!

NINETEEN – Just say, “No!” – The hardest word in the English Language to say!

TWENTY – The Soul of the Enabler versus the Chameleon 

TWENTY ONE – Virtues of Enablers

TWENTY TWO – Prisoners of the Mind

TWENTY THREE – What would you do if nobody found out?

TWENTY FOUR – Self-Esteem notwithstanding, it is what you are that counts!

PART THREE 
WORK DOMAIN

TWENTY FIVE – Who is in charge?

TWENTY SIX – Choosing a Profession & Taking Control of Your Life! 

TWENTY SEVEN – Teaching Smart People how to Learn!

TWENTY EIGHT – Love what you do!

TWENTY NINE – How Losers become Winners! They never quit! 

THIRTY – Life is what we make it, not what others make of us! 

THIRTY ONE – Are you trying too hard?

THIRTY TWO – The importance of everyone! Plumber, Electrician, Dr. Steinmetz

THIRTY THREE – Genius realized! Getting first published at age 96!

THIRTY FOUR – When Men Won’t Work & the Women Who Carry Them!

THIRTY FIVE – Men like to Soar; Women like to Stay Rooted!

THIRTY SIX – Taking charge! The best Expert is one’s own Experience!

FINAL WORD

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

INTRODUCTION

YOU DESERVE TO BE CONFIDENT!
BUT WHAT IS CONFIDENCE?

The brave man is not he who feels no fear, for that were stupid and irrational; but he whose noble soul subdues its fears, and bravely dares the dangers nature shrinks from.

Joanna Baillie (1762 – 1851), Scottish poet

We all have our own idea of what confidence is. Confidence is often defined in terms of believing in something or trusting someone else. For example, "We have every confidence in our staff." That is not how it is defined in these essays. Confidence is defined in terms of subtext or subconscious; in other words, the interplay between the conscious and the subconscious mind in acts of behavior.

Confidence in Subtext is evident when people know when to “go for broke” and when not to; when to develop a relationship and when not to; when to take a promotion and when not to; when to join a company or community or organization and when it would be wise to take a pass; when to invest and when not to; when to buy a home, an automobile or some other major purchase and when not to; when to take the advice of others and when not to; when to go it alone and when not to; when to leave a profession, a job, a community, a relationship, a church, school or company and when not to; when to counter-intuitively push the hot buttons of someone else and when not to; and when to be emphatic, say in a sales call, and when not to.

Confidence is belief and trust in oneself. It is being comfortable in one’s own skin and therefore equal to the tasks at hand, but confidence has nothing to do with feeling certain.

Nor does the confident person display superiority or preeminence in any way. On the contrary, the confident person recognizes limitations, but is resolute in developing within those limits. He knows that he may sometimes falter, prove less than equal to the task, but will not get down on himself. Instead, he will learn from experience and trust his Confidence in Subtext.

This confidence is not learned in a book, taking from a course, attending a seminar, or following a set of rules. It is using the gifts that everyone has but in which  we have not been schooled in how to use them.

Norman Vincent Peale published “The Power of Positive Thinking” (1952) after WWII, which was a collection of inspirational essays. It captured the mind of the time looking for a simple formula to regroup and go forward after the terrible trauma and sacrifice of that Great War.

Dr. Peale advised his readers in this self-help book that confidence can be attained by positive thinking through practice, training, and knowledge by talking to people. It was a rote agenda that fit the natural American inclination to optimistic thinking.

This rationale has survived despite a retinue of seemingly constant disappointments. It is all right to see the glass half full, but it is equally sensible to wonder how to fill the other half of the glass. The confident person doesn’t approach the issue of confidence mechanistically, programmatically, or ritualistically. These tools are passé.

He does it by thinking with his whole body not just his mind. His confidence is derived from engaging his subtext. And what is subtext? Subtext is allowing the subconscious mind to connect and integrate with the conscious mind. In other words, the intuitive mind connects and is integrated with the cognitive or rational mind as thinking is now with the whole body; with both sides of the bicameral mind. Often what surfaces is counter-intuitive to what one would expect to think or consider doing in a given set of circumstances

Confidence in Subtext cannot be taught. It can only be experienced. Confidence in Subtext is accumulative in learned experience.

In chemistry, the valence of the atom determines the vigor with which atoms combine with other atoms of the opposite charge. The higher the valence the greater the activity.

Confidence in Subtext mirrors this physical chemistry phenomenon. To state it another way, the confident person embraces rather than retreats from his anxieties. I learned this first hand as a chemical sales engineer making cold

calls to prospects in the field. At first, I didn’t want to make the calls. My hands would sweat, my temples would ache, and I was afraid I would stutter, embarrassing myself and looking stupid. But I had no choice. I had a young family to feed and I was a long way from my home roots. So you could say I had motivation. You could also say I was terribly self-conscious which is antithetical to Confidence in Subtext as this book intends to show.

Once I broke the ice, once I made that first call, and then the next, and the next after that, I learned an important lesson about confidence. My contacts were found to be as nervous as I was; apprehensive and suspicious that I was there to take advantage of them. I didn’t think this; I felt this. Their nonverbal behavior was speaking to me, loud and clear, which I ignored at first. But finally, after much anxiety, I started to listen; and in listening I played back to them what I felt they were feeling; what they were saying without saying anything. Or if they said something provocative, “Your products are too expensive,” I would play back these exact words so they could hear what they had said.

Once we worked through this awkward stage by talking and listening, developing common ground, and getting to know each other. In the process, we found we were not buyer and seller; we were not adversaries, but partners attempting to solve a problem.

Confidence is the bond of trust within oneself and between the two parties without mentioning the word or thinking about the idea of trust. The relationship has moved beyond words where the buyer and seller are not only on the same page, but anxious get off on the same dime!

It is natural, given our programming, to shield our minds of ideas that appear counterintuitive. The shield of resistance is for self-protection and is normal. Time and good intentions, rationalists insist, reduces the icy distance but not before encountering some combative resistance.

But rationalists would be wrong because this is thinking in terms of “chronological time,” or one-step-at-a-time, when Confidence in Subtext is a factor of “psychological time,” or thinking and acting, right now!

Once we think with our whole body; once we break through the wall of our own distrust; once we establish self-trust, Confidence in Subtext is allowed to provide insight into the situation. The barriers of distrust are dissolved without making that appeal.

Confidence in Subtext is what happens when two people fall in love at first sight! A data bank of complex and detailed information floods the mind, information with which neither party is aware, processes them in an instant.

The mind, body and spirit are focused on giving, not getting. This is learned behavior through experience. It is where the unknown and unpredictable are encountered; where criticism and disappointment are endured; where surprise and failure are components of success. Experience can build to confidence if we are willing to tap into our subtext with all its nuances. But alas, many of us have damaged subtext, and this too, will be addressed in these pages.

By nature, I am shy, introverted, reclusive and an introspective person. In the field, I found this not a handicap but an asset. Also, I am more comfortable listening and processing information than talking. I didn’t understand it at the time, but listening eases the discomfort of others by putting them in control giving them power over the situation. The result is that you are in control without being in control and therefore able to assess the subtext of the situation without appearing to be doing so.

HOW “CONFIDENCE IN SUBTEXT” IS DIFFERENT

Confidence in Subtext is a departure from books discussing confidence as it is asking the reader to think differently on purpose. This book is about countless examples of people who have used Confidence in Subtext without actually knowing they are doing so. It is a new concept but actually an ancient practice.

Two examples are given here that do not appear in the book. The first example is when I was a novice chemical sales engineer in the field and about to lose my job for a faux pas.

After traveling two weeks with the area manager of Nalco Chemical Company, I was asked what I had learned. I candidly replied, “Nothing as the calls had all been social calls.  You never asked any customer what was needed to improve their operations with our chemical systems.”

I was given a score of marginal accounts to service, and told to find a new job within six weeks. I could upgrade these marginal accounts and call on competitors accounts in my area. One competitor’s account was huge with three plants in the town of Connersville, Indiana where Philco Corporation manufactured refrigerators and air conditioners.

“I’m here to save your job!”

The main Philco plant was several acres under roof with the superintendent’s bull pen in the middle of the plant. It was chaos with corroded and clogged pieces of pipe on his desk indicative of failed systems in Nalco’s technology. After waiting an hour in this bull pen, with workers answering phones reporting crises in several production lines, the superintendent came in, lit a cigarette, sat on the end of his desk, and said, “You’ve got five minutes, sport, what have you got for me?”

“Matter of fact,” I said, “I’m here to save your job.”

It was my Confidence in Subtext that found me blurting out that outrageous remark, but it had foundation.

Our competitor had had the business for 25 years and were obviously not paying attention to poor maintenance. Nalco hadn’t called on the plant in several years because of this long term history. Looking at the superintendent, his disheveled and nervous state, feeling with a rush his out-of-control manner, the declarative statement came out. I received a blanket order and a three month trial for the three plants. A few years later when I was promoted to Nalco’s corporate management team, Nalco still had the account, and the superintendent still had his job.

To Sell What Mr. Blue Will Buy You Must See Mr. Blue Through Mr. Blue’s Eyes

Now, as a member of corporate management, I was sent to Paramaribo, Suriname not to save this operation of an international Alcoa account, but to appease the local Alcoa management for our dilatory service. Nalco Chemical Company was responsible for the chemical water treatment of the massive electrical utility that powered this aluminum smelting operation.

When I arrived, the Managing Director told me a story about the superintendent of this utility and the impact of his holiday with no one knowing where he had gone. The plant shut down after a violent electrical storm. “We lost millions of dollars during that delay,” he added. “Before we located the superintendent in Switzerland.”

I asked if I might make an attempt to talk to the superintendent since I was here, the Alcoa compound being some 60 miles away in the bush. “There is little chance he’ll talk to you,” the managing director advised, “but since you’re here you can give it a try if you like.” Then, he added discouragingly, “But I don’t see the point. He doesn’t want to work with your people anymore, and he’s made that point quite clear.” I said nothing. Then he added, “If he does see you, and you give him any grieve, I’ll have your job!”

The guard at the compound stopped my car at the gate, walked over and said, “I don’t think he’ll see you. He’s mad as hell at your company.” I gave the guard my note, and asked him if he would call the superintendent and read the note to him over the phone. He read the note, Dear Mr. Superintendent, after traveling these thousands of miles, would you have the courtesy of firing me and my company to my face?  

Twenty minutes later in a cloud of dust a Jeep arrived with a sandy haired and bearded young American in equally sandy work clothes and boots waving me to come through the gate. He got out of his car, told me I had guts to “come out here,” and then blasted Nalco for what seemed forever. Again, I didn’t say a word.

Finally, he smiled, “You had balls to write that note.” All the time he was studying me. He asked me where I was staying in Paramaribo. I told him. “What do you think of living out here for a couple of weeks?” I said, “Fine!”

“You don’t mind giving up that cushy pad with all those beautiful women?” I just smile. “Then I’ll have your gear shipped out here. I want to show you something.”

For the next four hours, I was audience to a slide show of all the things wrong with the power utility relating to chemical water treatment failures; failures Nalco never addressed because “Nalco never had boots on the grounds.”

When he finished, he asked me what I thought. I told him it was clear he was into quality maintenance, addressing chronic problems at the source, and required the chemical engineering expertise on site to see that these conditions were resolved; and once resolved, prevented. Then I added that clearly Nalco had not been providing such services and he was right to be angry with us.

In Confidence in Subtext language, he was angry because no one paid attention to him until he was not available when the utility was shut down. Outside the compound, there wasn’t a house, a building, or even a tree on the horizon. The note got his attention; the next two weeks renewed the 

contract with Nalco with a consulting agreement that would justify sending Nalco’s chemical engineers to assist this superintendent.

It was such counter-intuitive work as these two examples that got the attention of my minders, while at the same time confounding them. It was the reason I went back to the university to acquire a Ph.D. to understand the nature of this phenomenon that I came to practice. The university did not have the answers as it was a factory like the one I had left. It had to be worked out in my consulting work and to eventually come to be described in this book.

James R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D., April 25, 2017