SHAME!
James
R. Fisher, Jr., Ph.D.
©
June 10, 2015
“Shame
is a great restraint upon sinners at first; but hut soon falls off; and when
men have once lost their innocence, their modesty is not like to be long
troublesome to them. For impudence comes
on with vice, and grows up with it.
Lesser vices do not banish all shame and modesty; but great and
abominable crimes harden men’s foreheads, and make them shameless. When men have the heart to do a very bad
thing, they seldom want the face to beat it out.”
John
Tillotson (1630 – 1694), English Archbishop of Canterbury
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SHAME?
There
was a time when we would be hesitant even afraid to share our most intimate
thoughts with friends or family much less strangers on television or on social
media such as Facebook.
There
was a time when we would feel shame for talking back to our parents, teachers,
priests and authority figures such as police officers.
There
was a time when we wouldn’t be proud to misbehave in school, church, other
public places.
There
was a time when we would be ashamed to be caught stealing, lying, false
accusing or damaging the reputation of others even if we didn’t like them.
Shame is a negative and a painful social
emotion that collides with the social standards of the self. It represents a clash between the “ideal
self” programmed into the individual by society and the “real self” that pushes
the envelope of social acceptance.
Shame
is a cognitive play of the conscience that enables a society to exist with some
modicum of civility, respect, affection and regard for the welfare and well
being of others.
When
the conscience is lacking, then shame is corrupted or missing. It can lead to “Kids Killing Kids” (1999) as
Bob Larson shows, or extreme exhibitionism as shown on television reality and
extreme confessional shows.
In
the Tampa Bay area here in Florida some thirty young people, all but one
African American, have been killed in random or gang shootings in the past year,
children from preteens to teenagers.
Shame
may stem from acting without thinking or having a weak affect. For example, Larson reports in his book of a
seven-year-old boy tossing a toddler into the family pool and watching the boy
drown, thinking he had done nothing wrong.
The
roots of the word shame are thought to derive from an older word meaning
"to cover"; as such, covering oneself is a natural expression of
shame. Charles Darwin, in his book “The
Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals” (1872), described shame affect
as consisting of blushing, confusion of mind, downward cast eyes, slack
posture, and lowered head, and he noted observations of shame affect in human
populations worldwide. He also noted the
sense of warmth or heat with the face and skin occurring in intense shame.
A
"sense of shame" is the consciousness or awareness of shame as a
state or condition. Such shame cognition may occur as a result of the experience
of shame affect or, more generally, in any situation of embarrassment,
dishonor, disgrace, inadequacy, humiliation, or chagrin.
A
condition or state of shame may also be assigned externally, by others,
regardless of one's own experience or awareness.
"To
shame" generally means to actively assign or communicate a state of shame
to another.
Behaviors
designed to "uncover" or "expose" others are sometimes used
for this purpose, as are utterances like "Shame!" or "Shame on
you!" Finally, to "have shame" means to maintain a sense of
restraint against offending others (as with modesty, humility, and deference)
while to "have no shame" is to behave without such restraint (as with
excessive pride or hubris).
.
“SENATOR,
DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME?
ARMY-SENATOR McCARTHY HEARINGS!
On
June 9, 1954, the 30th day of the Army–McCarthy hearings, McCarthy accused Fred
Fisher, one of the junior attorneys at Welch's law firm, of associating while
in law school with the National Lawyers Guild (NLG), a group that J. Edgar
Hoover sought to have the U.S. attorney general designate as a Communist front
organization.
Welch
had privately discussed the matter with Fisher and the two agreed Fisher should
withdraw from the hearings. Welch dismissed Fisher's association with the NLG
as a youthful indiscretion and attacked McCarthy for naming the young man
before a nationwide television audience without prior warning or previous
agreement to do so. Welch reflects with anger in his voice:
"Until
this moment, Senator, I think I have never really gauged your cruelty or your
recklessness. Fred Fisher is a young man who went to the Harvard Law School and
came into my firm and is starting what looks to be a brilliant career with us.
"Little did I dream you could be so reckless and so cruel as to do an injury to
that lad. It is true he is still with Hale and Dorr. It is true that he will
continue to be with Hale and Dorr. It is, I regret to say, equally true that I
fear he shall always bear a scar needlessly inflicted by you.
"If it were in my
power to forgive you for your reckless cruelty I would do so. I like to think I
am a gentle man, but your forgiveness will have to come from someone other than
me."
When
McCarthy tried to renew his attack, Welch interrupted him:
"Senator,
may we not drop this? We know he belonged to the Lawyers Guild. Let us not
assassinate this lad further, Senator. You've done enough. Have you no sense of
decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"
McCarthy
tried to ask Welch another question about Fisher, and Welch interrupted:
"Mr.
McCarthy, I will not discuss this further with you. You have sat within six
feet of me and could have asked me about Fred Fisher.
"You have seen fit to
bring it out. And if there is a God in Heaven it will do neither you nor your
cause any good. I will not discuss it further. I will not ask Mr. Cohn any more
questions. You, Mr. Chairman, may, if you will, call the next witness."
Welch (left) being questioned by Senator Joe McCarthy (right) at the Army-McCarthy hearings, June 9, 1954.
THE
OTHER SIDE OF SHAME
There
was a time when shame controlled human behavior within limits that were
pronounced “shameful,” but are no longer so as human behavior has had the need
for a little latitude to cope with an ever changing time and circumstance.
There
was a time when a high school girl got pregnant and disappeared from site only to reappear nine months later. Today fully
with child she graduates with her class.
There
was a time when there was so much shame to failure that it was hidden, lied about,
or denied. Now, it is fully understood
that failure in school or at home or at work requires attention not
detention. We don’t all grow or progress
at the same rate nor do we all mature in the same way.
There
was a time when the confusion of our developing sexuality so alarmed us that we
hid it first from ourselves and then from everyone else, ultimately to lead us
into shameful circumstances not of our choosing. Now, we are a bit more understanding about
this and so many individuals have profited from this growing tolerance and acceptance.
There
was a time when it was shameful for a boy not to act like a boy or a girl not to act like
a girl, yet in point of fact biology is not psychology. Sex role identity is learned behavior, not
written at birth in concrete.
There
was a time when if we did something terribly shameful, such as doing drugs,
becoming an alcoholic, getting arrested and charged with driving while
intoxicated, being caught stealing at school or work, or whatever that the equivalent of a Scarlet Letter was written across our foreheads.
Today, we are given a second chance because we as a people are more
tolerant of ourselves and our own shortcomings.
Having
said all that, decency and civility are seriously challenged in these
postmodern times when a modicum of shame might be the right prescription.
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